edited because the originator thinks I missed the funny
TopicCindy in Bitches on the Zmayhem Baby Watch
Waiting for the Zmayhem baby brings home to me how I will never escape my craving for spoilers. I can resist them (and do, with shows like VM and The Office), but it's not in my nature.
We already know the baby will come more or less today. And we know she'll be a girl (unless that's a foiler). And unless there's some bigass retcon reveal slated for sweeps, we know who her parents are (and who her sibling is). We even know how some of JZ's pains feel.
So, the average person might ask, "What's left to spoil?"
When I (and maybe that ought to read "we" because I know there are people here who will what I mean so well that they may feel the same way)...when I say, "spoilers," I actually mean, "SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wanna know if JZ is having an epi, because she had to have the pitocin, and I want to know if she's okay with any modifications to her birthing plan. I wanna know if she's having any touch averse moments, and if so, how Hec's dealing with them. I wanna know if she got anything to eat before she went to the hospital, and if they're letting her have ice chips. I want to know the color of her johnny. I want to know if her parents are coming to the hospital before the birth, or if they'll wait at home.
I wanna know the time of birth. Down to the second. I wanna know if Hec cut the cord, and if he and/or JZ cried. I wanna know the baby's birth weight to the half ounce, her height to the half inch, and her names-as-appear-on-birth-cert. And who's filling out the cert, for that matter. And I want to know how Emmett is, and his reaction upon meeting the baby for the first time.
Give me the shooting script, because I want to know. Now!
Strike that. I want to know before.
Where's Leoff with the wildfeed?
And Polter with the updates
I wanna know if JZ is having an epi, because she had to have the pitocin
"I am so far without an epidural, and I am going to do my damndest to avoid it. That may be a foiler."
I want to know if she's okay with any modifications to her birthing plan.
"I haven't had time to write up the birthing plan yet. So it is all madly improvised. Except that I want my fentanyl."
I wanna know if she's having any touch averse moments, and if so, how Hec's dealing with them.
"Nope, not at all. But it's early yet." TEASER!
I wanna know if she got anything to eat before she went to the hospital, and if they're letting her have ice chips.
"I had nothing to eat because it was midnight, but the night nurse, before she went off-shift...got me some cream of wheat and some yogurt. Now I'm sucking on LifeSavers. Cherry."
I want to know the color of her johnny.
"Blue pin-stripes."
I want to know if her parents are coming to the hospital before the birth, or if they'll wait at home.
"They are here, right now, but they have both been informed that as soon as I get to the screaming and yelling stage, they will be booted, and they are both okay with it." Also, her mom brought a laptop, and while it is not Internet-enabled, it enables her to watch Wonderfalls and Slings and Arrows.
I wanna know if Hec cut the cord
"Hec is not gonna cut the cord."
And I want to know how Emmett is
Emmett is grumpy and bitter about not being able to play with his new iPod Nano, which is being held hostage at home.
JZ's kittens are on Sean and Scola.
"Unexpected plot developments may occur later that may cause a change in the arc."
And she's on the upswing of another contraction, so she let me go.