I can't believe no one has COMM'd this yet!
DavidS
in Bitches:
The other story is when JZ was getting her epidural. She's very needlephobic and the way she deals with it is by talking her way through it. So it usually sounds like, "Okay, and now they're putting the needle in. And I'm NOT running away. I am staying still. And...OW! Fuck that hurts. Fucking fuck fuck fuck! Motherfucking fuckheads!"
So, I try to warn the doctor beforehand. "Don't take it personally." But the doctor was cool and snarky, and talked right back to her and kept her distracted. Except she's very flinchy about the whole thing. And flinched when she got the preliminary lidocaine shot.
Me: It's very important that you're still when you get the epidural. You have to be completely still when he starts it. You can't pull away or jerk. You have to be calm.
JZ: Okay. He's starting the epidural now. And I'm just going to talk. I'm going to be a little chatter monkey. And chatter monkeys live in Indonesia and they have long silky purple fur. And... [her body is tensing up and I'm afraid she's going to jerk away again]
Me: Jacqueline! You have to focus. You have to be very still.
JZ: [glaring at me] ...and chatter monkeys will BITE the fingers off people who are too bossy. They will bite them right off.
Because we should all honor our inner 12 year old girl
Trudy Booth: The boy I loved at camp, Jon Barton, wore Polo.
I bought a teddy bear and a small bottle of Polo. I named the bear "Jon Barton." I doused it frequently and slept with it every night.
Years later in a make or break Pictionary round my sister drew a bear being sprayed with a bottle of cologne and we won when I yelled "POLO!!!!!"
In a Natter discussion of perfumes and high school/college and the memories (especially of guys) they provoke.
ita
I went to an all girl's school. We smelt of nothing more than privation.
In Natter --
brenda:
Dick Armey. Dick Armey. Maybe there's some hope for people to see the light after all.
tommyrot:
I just love his name. It sounds like some militant gay punk group.
In Natter (excerpted from a series of posts)
bon bon:
Doctors, or otherwise people I come to for medical advice all the time: why is my lower lashline twitching? Why has it been doing this for weeks? I've practically poked my eyes out trying to get whatever it is out of my eye but it appears to be a weird muscle spasm down there.
I hope you guys don't mind if I do the eye closing thing while typing my posts.
My joke about typing blind has been foikle by my fairly-good touchtyping skills.
OPr not.
Sue illustrates just how much we love our electronics:
I think my iPod is dead. Nooo!!! take me instead!!!!
an exchange in Minearverse
Strega
As a writer, you can crush dreams from a distance. It's a better fit for the introverted sadist.
Typo Boy
Editor. IJS.
Jilli
Hey! I like to crush their dreams up close. Usually by bludgeoning them with a copy of the style guide ...
The Empress,
in Bitches:
IOEmelineNews, she has become very attached to two balls that came with this spiral tower thingie she got last year. She won't do anything without them. If she can't find them or doesn't have them, she wails, "WANT BALLS WANT BALLS!"
Joe looked at me and said, "That's your kid."
JZ in Natter:
Matilda is so pretty. None of the pictures so far do her any kind of justice. I'm not an exhibitionist at all, but damn, I want someone to hover over my shoulder and take pictures while she's breastfeeding; she just looks so lovely, her little neck all stretched out, her entire head cupped in my hand, her long elegant fingers flexing and waving, very intent and focused on her task (a difficult one for a not-quite-term baby) but with this milk-stoned/blissed-out look in her eyes.
And she's an incredibly easy baby -- doesn't fuss much, is easily consoled (she just interrupted this post with a wet diaper and bleated all through the change, but one pass up and down the hallway afterward totally soothed her; I pointed out the pictures of Emmett and of teenage David and his parents, her grandparents, and her own image in the full-length mirror at the end of the hall, and she goggled at everything very attentively, tenting her fingers under her chin, and now she's on the Boppy on my lap glancing back and forth between the scrreen and me).
She sleeps a lot during the day, which makes nighttimes a little rough but does allow for a lot of compensatory napping and stuff-doing by daylight. And when she's out, she's deeply out -- you can go about your business, including clattery stuff like putting away dishes or even accidentally dropping one, and she doesn't care (she passed her hearing screen, so that's not an issue; she's just a sound sleeper). No jaundice. She's already nursing with some degree of competence. She scratches up her face a good bit with her tiny nails, but the scratches disappear almost instantly, so clearly she has Slayer-like healing powers.
In short, obviously a genius, a saint, a deep thinker, and possibly a Chosen One. I only hope that when the other Potentials track her down and help her fulfil her destiny, she remembers to introduce her mom to Giles.
