P-C in Bitches, helping me with my homework
Dramatis Grammatica:
its, a possessive pronoun
it's, a contraction
ACT ONE, SCENE ONE
Setting: The entire world
its: You know, I wish the world would make up its fucking mind.
it's: Seriously! It's getting kind of ridiculous.
its: It's not that hard, really.
it's: You underestimate its difficulty, my friend. Apostrophes can be tricky buggers!
its: You're right. If we were talking about something that belonged to Veronica, we would say it was Veronica's.
it's: That doesn't make any sense. What are you talking about? It belongs to Veronica; it's not a bunch of Veronica clones.
its: No, I used an apostrophe! Didn't you hear me?
it's: You can't hear an apostrophe, you ass. It's the reason people can't tell us the fuck apart.
its: I'm the reason?!
it's: IT IS the reason people can't tell us the fuck apart.
its: Oh! So with the apostrophe, it's like a contraction, kind of like any other subjective pronoun with an apostrophe.
it's: By George, I think he's got it.
its: But what about the possessive? I want an apostrophe too!
it's: No, bitch. Look at all the other pronouns. He's got his, and she's got her, and they've got their. What the hell do I have? I can't do two things at once! I have too much television to watch.
its: Hey, have you been watching Veronica Mars?
it's: Yeah, it's a great show. Hey, see how I totally used myself properly?
its: Oh, that's cake. It's when people try to use the possessive that the shit hits its fan.
it's: Its fan? The fuck?
its: Hey, I was stretching for a gratuitous example. Lay off.
it's: Are you sure you don't mean lie off?
its: Go to hell.