The radiant Fay: A Telepathic Cat. Now that would be REALLY annoying.

"Food. Food now."

"Let me IN!!!"

"Let me OUT!!!"

"Let me IN AGAIN!!!"

"Food! Better food! This food sucks!"

"Go ahead, stroke me. I may bite, or I may not bite. What's life without risks, puny human?"

"Don't look at me like that. These papers clearly aren't important. I shall be sitting on them for the foreseeable future."

"Worship me."

"These are not the droids you're looking for."

"Bored now. I think I want to make something bleed."

She left out the part about the unspeakable things to be done to the dirt in the rubber plant....

erikaj on the etiquette of the suicide note:

And my parents are divorced...should there be two versions, or what?

Raq: I was going to load up on fruits and veggies anyway, and start stewing/straining/freezing [baby food] for [the baby] while the produce is still good.

Aimée: Got yer ice trays ready?

Raq: Indeed I do. The supermarket was having a sale on them, so I bought a bunch (in baby colors!).

Then my housekeeper washed them and wanted to fill them with ice, and I confused her by trying to explain it, so that today I had the Lord God King Mother of all First-World Problems: I couldn't find where my maid had put the ice cube trays.

Dana: Workers on another floor of the building are welding. The smoke is triggering the fire alarm.

It's going to be a long day.

Jesse ... left to my own devices, I will eat 90% carbs. And 10% cheese.

Raq, in Natter:

Speaking of, I just had one of these shouting matches with my landlord. Someone has been putting meat out for the Feral Cat Clan (FCC) in the front walkway. Meat chunks, like from the butcher. So not only are there big ugly bones everywhere and begging cats constantly underfood, the grease from the meat soaked into the marble walk and steps, making them extra slippery (and it doesn't come out of marble).

The landlord accused me of putting the food out, so we got into it. We started in German, as usual, but then I discovered I'm losing my German in favor of Greek, so it went something like:

"Ich gab den Katzen τίποτα...shit!"
"Δεν habe στις γάτες τίποτα gegeben...shit!"
"Ich έδωσα στις Katzen nichts gegeben...shit!"
"IT WASN'T ME!!!"

whoops.

Nattery goodness:

Cashmere: Has anyone seen the kitten huffing?

Frankenbuddha: Well, that was...interesting?

Fay: Now if someone says they're looking for a little pussy, I'll know that they aren't just being crude.

(Edited for attribution. Thanks, Nilly.)

Lyra, the Unknown Buffista was Cashmere.