Buffy ,'Showtime'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In Natter:
Betsy: I could totally fight a stick. Grab it, break it over one knee, and it's paralyzed.
JohnSweden: Betsy. Nutty (in the cheetahskin gloves). Sturdy stick. Squash court.
Three persons/object enter, one person/object leaves.
WHO/WHAT SHALL IT BE?
Betsy: I roll over on my back, stick all four feet in the air, and begin panting loudly. Nutty comes over sniffs my belly, and wanders off to chase the stick.
Deena imagines Perkins reaction to visiting Deena and family:
Dear Diary;
Am here. Tried to sleep in but got sat on by a baby with saggy, soggy diapers. Cat sat on my head. It was too cold and then too hot. The house is a disaster, but I'm trying to be polite. I've told Deena that I only bathe at religious houses for Lent. I'm not stepping foot in that bathtub. Kara talks. A lot. We went to the zoo but it was cold and rainy. It's a teeny-assed zoo, anyway. Deena tried to feed me bacon. She says she forgot. Kara tried to feed me bacon off the floor. Aidan gave me a bite of his mashed banana...that he'd just mashed...by sitting on it. In that soggy diaper. Then he kicked me. I have to go. I'm hiding from Kara. She wants to play Barbie Is A Reaver again.
connie_neil in Bitches 22:
I just want to state publically that I love my company. I just went in to the accountant with another pile of drug receipts and medical bills to submit to the reimbursement program, and all he said was, "Hey, you've almost hit the deductable for the year", instead of, "You again?" All right, a couple of weeks ago he did say, "You need your own drug dealer."
In Bitches:
Perkins: I'm at Deena's! So far, I've played Dinosaurs (I have a problem with pre-mature Rowring), read three books, and sung "bahbahbah" with Aidan.
Aimee: t hands Lee a Viagrasaurus
In Natter:
aurelia: It's a "Jamacian Style Roots Drink," which is "used as a tonic to cleanse the body of fat and purify the blood." Ingredients include "strong back, man back, blood wisp, nerve wisp, and all man strength."
Erin: It sounds like what you mop off from the floor when the Reavers are done.
Reasons not to mess with connie neil:
If I put on my happy face and smile big and keep my chin high, then my eyes get all squinty, and that interferes with proper sightlines along the barrel.
In actuality, I prefer swords. They don't run out of ammo, plus they're good exercise.
Allyson as president of Fox TV:
Reality teevee goes away, except for my idea of combining Fear Factor with the Swan, so that desperately broken women with no self-esteem will have to eat maggots to get their implants.
Hee! Funniest COMM In weeks.
In Bitches:
Betsy: My official birth certificate turned out not to have the time of birth. They only put the time of birth on the copy they give the mother in Kansas. Fortunately, my mother was able to hunt up that one.
Brenda: That's awful, Betsy. What if the mother isn't around or can't locate her copy? Condemning a poor, innocent child to a lifetime of inaccurate horoscopes.
Betsy: I know. I think I'll ask Tom DeLay to pass a law.
tommyrot in Music:
The Six Million Dollar Man should have had a Byronic arm.