DX, in the Lost thread, context be damned:

Probably just as well you didn't. I'm pretty sure people who burst into flames on airplanes get put on a special watch list.

Aimée:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife's iPod.

Thou shalt not bear false witness to the iPod.

Thou shalt not take the iPod's name in vain.

Thou shalt honor thy Mother's and Father's iPod.

Thou shalt keep the iPod day holy.

Thou shalt not murder thy iPod by letting the battery run out.

Thou shalt not have any other iPods before this one.

Thou shalt not have any graven image of the iPod, ie that HP crap.

Thou shalt not steal music for your iPod.

You shall not commit adultery by using someone else's iPod.

These are laws.

... And those tablets can NOT be returned - they are engraved.

Emily:

Okay, I tried to post this right after shrift, but then my browser did the thing where it won't load the board anymore, so I'm a little late. Whatever.

While I was pondering this question, I thought, well, the Buddha would only need one song, or no song at all, and maybe that goes for Christ as well. But maybe in fact Jesus would want all songs, loving all of human creation. Which means, either way, that divine beings (does Buddha count as divine? how about incarnations?) wouldn't use the iProduct currently on the market, because only humans need something between all and nothing. Which is much like a system of two algebraic equations -- it can have no answers, all answers, or one answer. Humans would have one answer, but Higher Powers would be either parallel but separate lines or overlapping on all points.

Maybe I shouldn't do religion right after algebra quizzes

Aimee, in Bitches:

I am putting everything in writing. What I want done, what I don't want done, what funeral I want (none), what I want done with my remains (use every single usable part. Take it all if it can be used. Let someone else benefit and live. Let that be my legacy. Burn the rest. And if you keep my ashes to be paired with Joe's later on, keep me in a Wizard of Oz cookie jar, for Heaven's sake. Hell, keep it in the kitchen so that people reach in and grab a handful of me. It'll be a great joke. Specially for the grandkids. "You're holding Grandma! You're holding Grandma!" I forgot why I used the parentheses.)

connie neil: I've not only let that bitch Hope park in the driveway, she's turned off the engine and thinking of coming inside. I think I'll make her sit on the porch for a while, just in case.

Susan W: I totally want a teleporter. Or at least a flying car.

Topic!Cindy:

I've tried to read all the posts since I left earlier today, but all I can keep in my head is that I typed nightmare's rather than nightmares.

O my Buffistas,
I am heartily sorry for
having offended thee,
and I detest my apostrophe abuse,
because I dread the loss of plurals,
and the pains of inappropriate ownership;
but most of all because
they offend thee, my Buffistas,
Who are all foamy and
deserving of all my grammar.
I firmly resolve,
with the help of the edit function,
to confess my apostrophe abuse,
to proofread,
and to edit my post.

Tom Scola: I have this recurring fantasy of kidnapping Steven Spielberg and forcing him to make a dogme-95-compliant film at gunpoint.

Jessica: Ooooh. Need a driver?

DXMachina in Boxed Set:

Buffy has Issues. Also, people who get involved with Buffy have horrible things happen to them. Angel got shoved into a hell dimension. Spike got incinerated. Riley wound up married to Mary Sue. Shudder.

Betsy H-P in Music with an eternal truth:

A fine rant self-justifies.