From the Minearverse, as Wonderfalls packages start arriving in the mail:

Betsy HP:

Oops.

I ripped open the package to reveal The Spartans: The World of The Warrior-Heroes of Ancient Greece.

Allyson:

I think that has more HoYAY than Wonderfalls, Betsy. That should console.

DXMachina:

Or in Wonderfalls terms, with your canoe or on it.

Betsy HP:

Well, I definitely ordered that, but I think it doesn't have a lot of commentary. Or drunken retail kisses.

Dana:

"Yeah, so this was Thermopylae. It took us days and days to film this, and some of the extras kind of resented having to die, but once we shot them with arrows, they fell right in line."

Lilty Cash:

I guess you can always pretend that the narration is commentary, Betsy. And maybe hum the Wonderfalls theme from time to time.

Nope, not the same.

Betsy HP:

I wonder, wonder why the hoplites faaaal...

I wonder why the hoplites fall on meeeee....

shrift , in Natter:

When it comes to data, I am like a man; you need to tell me exactly what you want. Hinting vaguely in a passive-aggressive manner will not get you your diamond anniversary band and a vacation in the Bahamas.

Matt the Bruins Fan, in Bitches

Now I know I'm never getting into Heaven for fear of how much time I'd spend bitchslapping St.Valentine over his damn holiday.

In Natter:

NoiseDesign: What's up?

Sue: Cats are being stacked, there's some alternative Super Bowl programming involving puppies, people have different ringtones, some people work with computers without a CS degree, and words get pronounced differently in different places.

NoiseDesign: So what you are saying is things haven't changed much.

Sue: Natter is pretty much an unstoppable force at this point.

Frankenbuddha: Does that make Bitches the immovable object?

[This whole exchange cracked me up.]

Susan: I think all I've said about Jack is that he has chestnut hair and light brown eyes, that he's lean, a bit on the rawboned side, and has hands that would make Teppy a very happy woman indeed. Oh, and he has some sexy scars. Only scattered throughout chapter one and not in those words, because some of them are anachronistic, and my readers would wonder who the heck this Teppy person was.

Beverly: Now I want to read a book set in a historical period with fancy-dress and told in Buffista-speak. It will sell exactly 74 copies--to us. But it would be fun! Maybe we can get the writerly types together and write it en committee, like Spiral.

Susan: I occasionally amuse myself by imagining character dialogue or introspection in the most modern, slang-ridden terms possible. Or I'll "interview" them and we'll use literary and pop culture references a century or two past their time. Jack's character really clicked for me the day "we" had a nice discussion of Lord of the Rings and how Sam is a saint and a hero, but Jack is nothing like him and would appreciate it if I stopped writing him as such.

Beverly: I hate it when they do that.

I said, stand over there and say this.

"I'd rather discuss the permutations of swordplay, with an undertone of definite allusion to sex."

But we're not ready for that part yet!

"Who's not ready?"

Stop that! Or...at least have a talk with my husband, would you?

And in Natter, the conversation turns once again to cats:

askye: And in her old age she's getting to be much more of a lap cat, but also much more finicky about her water bowl. If there is even a speck of something in it, she will start meowing like crazy and finally drink out the toilet.

ita: That's an odd definition of finicky, askye. But cat logic is not our logic, or we'd lick our asses more often.

Raquel, in Movies:

In other news, I think my DH may be going for a Section 8 discharge (if the Foreign Service has those). He pretty much only speaks in movie quotes anyway, but apparently in staff meeting yesterday when asked what he wanted, he responded "I want Tina Sparkle to walk through that door and say 'The Finance Minister's broken both his legs and I want to dance with YOU!'"

His secretary told me this, in a worried tone of voice. My response was "That was unexpected."

In Firefly, discussing 'ships:

Gus:

Simon/Kaylee is doomed.

RepublicanMouthpiece/Kaylee is doomed.

Wash/Kaylee ... Wash is doomed.

Mal/Kaylee ... OK, I'd buy a ticket.

Book/Kaylee ... Ew! (Which means this is the hardiest hookup, for those having the writing chops.)

River or Zoe/Kaylee .. sure, I'd buy a ticket, but I'd feel bad about it. A little.

Badger/Kaylee? Here's my bank account, take what you will.

tommyrot:

Badger/Kaylee? Here's my bank account, take what you will.

That would only work for me if their relationship was a little... kinky.

Gus:

She wears the hat.

Fork over the bank account, dude.

Cindy:

RepublicanMouthpiece/Kaylee is doomed.

Wash/Kaylee ... Wash is doomed.

I think just the opposite on these two. Kaylee'd set Jayne in his place. Wash is man enough for Zoe. 'Nuff said.

Gus:

Oh, no you don't.

'Nuff will be said when we all agree that Zoe would kick Wash's ass up level with his ears if he strayed.

On the Jayne/Kaylee thing ... I was saying no relationship would work there, not that Kaylee would be doomed. Jayne would be in Jayne Heaven, while Kaylee rolled her eyes. Toward Book, that is, 'cuz the writers need help to make that happen.

tianxiaode:

*sticks by Badger/Mal/very fine hat OT3*

Gus:

Badger/Mal.

Badger/River, maybe. They could take turns not knowing who was wearing the hat, or if there was a hat at all, or if, ulitimately, a hat was the reason we are all here.

Calli:

Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger
Argh a Reaver! Reaver! A Reaver!
Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger . . .

In OMGWTF:

Kathy Astrom: There's a good article on Naveen here. I didn't know that he had a history of being involved with older women--moved in with his math teacher at 16 and fathered a kid? Interesting...

Laura: Older women you say...

Topic!Cindy:

They need to come up with playpens for 3 to 5 year old children, with 8 foot high, unscaleable (unscalable--unclimbable) spiked walls, with the spikes pretreated with liquid valium--that way, if the kids still manage to get out, the moms can impale themselves and call it a day.