Miracleman
reminds me that COMM isn't always for the funny. Sometimes it's also for allergies:
Aimee and Emma are fine at last check-in. Emma's at the eat-crap-and-sleep stage of life and so mainly eats, craps and sleeps. Aimee is still sore from the C-section, but the pain meds seem to work for the most part and she's in good spirits when she's awake.
Brag? Well, I don't know what there is to brag about. I mean, aside from Emma being the best baby in the whole freakin' universe, hands down. Aside from that, not much to say.
I am, of course, biased. I am so totally in love with my daughter that every belch makes me smile giddily and my heart breaks just looking at her. So take my statement of Emma's obvious superiority to every single living being on the planet Earth and, come to think of it, every other inhabited planet anywhere in existence, ever with something of a grain of salt.
Proud father? Yeah, okay...I'll cop to that.
Nutty:
Red Sox signed a pitcher name of Matt Mantei for a song. (He was/is injured.) Now, the Red Sox roster is up to 14 players, two one-eared donkeys, seven paper clips, and a parrot that can sing the macarena. (Hot Stove season has been slooooow.)
...
[eta (and totally unrelated)]
Cashmere:
I stood in a VERY long line for over an hour at the DMV and ended up behind a woman who was there to exchange her license plates because they had 666 on them. She was insisting on getting new plates for free and she was seriously holding up the line. I got pissed and told her that Satan didn't want her car--he wanted her soul. It did not go over well.
Matt the Bruins Fan
in Bitches:
They descend so steeply every cover should have a miniature Leonardo DiCaprio yelling "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" printed in the upper left corner.
Deena
in Bitches on the joys in life:
We went to get diapers the other night and there was a bellringer outside the store. I handed Kara change and told her to find the bell. She saw the guy, screamed "There he is!" and ran for the bucket. She was so excited to put her change in, and when the guy let her ring his bell she was beside herself with delight. She told him, "Happy holidays!" and then was so pleased with his response she told everyone in the store "happy holidays!" too. I was close to tears by the time I got out to the car. That's my girl. That's what I want to instill in my children, to give with joy at every opportunity.
In Bitches
Sean K
How's that pretty little girl of yours, MM?
Miracleman,
AKA, the proud new papa
Still pretty. Prettier than the firmament of the Heavens, fairer than a clear dawn sky and more beautiful and wondrous than the formation of Life itself.
Though she does poop a lot.
connie neil
Pity the shy young man who comes to brave Fortress Miracleborn to pick up the Princess for a date.
MM
"I'm here to pick up Emeline."
"I have a gun."
"Uh...okay. I'm her boyfriend? We have a date? I spoke to you on the phone."
"I have a gun."
"I had dinner here last week? Your wife said she liked my sweater?"
"I. Have. A. Gun."
"I'll just be in the car, then."
SeanK
in Bitches on sleeptalking:
I once, while mostly asleep, when asked by my father if I had finished my homework, said, "Well I haven't figured out the mass of the Universe, if that's what you mean."
Some of the greatest quotes are those that come out of exhaustion.
ita in Natter, and who needs context:
Please, no one ever believe I'm dead unless I come here and tell you myself.
I think I aspirated egg nog.
Allyson: I wonder if Ophelia is waterproof.
Ginger in Bitches, stating what I feel is a universal truth, context be damned:
You know, people get a lot of credit for being able to create order out of chaos, but I don't think I've gotten the credit I deserve for my ability to create chaos out of order.
