Kalshane, on the topic of smooshing fireflies:

I remember yelling at one of my friends in righteous indignation the first time he did that when we were 12 or so. Unfortunately within about 5 minutes he managed to turn me to the Dark Side (which in this case was the glowing smeary side).

Kathy Astrom:

See? See?! It is cool! Especially if you're seven years old and experimenting with your scientific side. I remember the high school physics teacher being fed up with us and letting us go outside with magnifying glasses on one of the first really nice spring days. I managed to get him with the concentrated light beam on his bald spot when he was leaning down over something a classmate was pointing out.

From Bitches:

Hecubus:

JZ almost had magic sharpie issues. One poll worker assured her that JZ's own marker would suffice, but the head poll worker looked mildly aghast that anything other than an Official Magic Sharpie might possibly work. However, the machine approved her ballot with green light boops and all was well.

Betsy:

The boops make me happy. They tell me that I have not screwed up my ballot.

David:

It's like you're personally validated by R2D2. R2D2 should've been an analyst.

"I realized this week that my mother is really controlling and I need to assert myself and take control of my life."
"Boop."

erika

Hec, and sometimes he could do that sad whistle thing. You know the one.

Betsy:

Yeah, but you know I'd feel obliged to test it. "I have always hated cylindrical objects and it is my new mission to eliminate them from the world."
"Boop."

Ha.

JohnSweden:

"I have always hated cylindrical objects and it is my new mission to eliminate them from the world."

"BWWEEEEEEP! BoooWEEP-woo. boop."

Betsy:

Or, if you toggled him into Swedish Chef mode,

"Ningayingafinga BWWWEEEP! Yarlydarly BooWEEP-booo. Uff da!"

Natter, on possible voting developments:

Trudy:

There should be a cheesy country song for this feeling.

Steph:

"My Heart Doesn't Feel Quite So Crushed Under the Bootheel of the GOP."

tommyrot: This is what's gonna happen later tonight: Bush will be talking to Carl Rove in the White House. Bush says, "You have failed me for the last time, Carl." Carl screams and runs. He hides in a dark room. But bush uses the heat-sensing pits on his face to locate Carl in complete darkness. Bush unhinges his lower jaw and opens his mouth 180 degrees. Next he expands his mouth, throat and gullet as he swallows Carl whole. Bush then spends the rest of his administration laying around the White House, digesting.

In Natter:

Jars: Yeah, people tend to think I'm a guy too. I can't really blame them though, as I think Jars might actually be a male name somewhere or other... Scandinavian type place. Yeah, that.

Polter-Cow: FUCKING CHRIST.

Jars is a chick too?

Sean K: Jars is not a guy?

I get no prize.

Gudanov: Damn, Jars fooled me too.

Jars: Dudes! I rest my case.

Wait. It's because I say things like "Dudes", isn't it?

A perfectly innocent conversation in Bitches:

vw bug:

I'm so good. I have $1125.00 in library fines. Go me!

erikaj:

Oh, my...vw burned down a library. Pass it on.

DavidS:

Pffft. Buffistas are the worst library patrons in the universe. They have the crazy book love that totally obliterates their civic duty.

Sparky1:

People who don't return the books are not the worst library patrons. The worst library patrons do things like pee in the copy room. vw, you've never peed in the library's copy room, have you?

vw bug:

Um, no. But, I'll keep that in mind when I start giving myself a hard time about my library fines.

Aimée:

I broke into a church to have sex.

<nothing to do with library fines, just feel like telling that>

tommyrot: This is what's gonna happen later tonight: Bush will be talking to Carl Rove in the White House. Bush says, "You have failed me for the last time, Carl." Carl screams and runs. He hides in a dark room. But bush uses the heat-sensing pits on his face to locate Carl in complete darkness. Bush unhinges his lower jaw and opens his mouth 180 degrees. Next he expands his mouth, throat and gullet as he swallows Carl whole. Bush then spends the rest of his administration laying around the White House, digesting.

If tommyrot had written "Cheney" instead of "Bush," I'd be in bureaucracy, proposing we change his user name to prophecy_boy.

Commentary on election night. Bittersweet, but so funny:

What was more disturbing was that list of states that have banned gay marriage.

Matt the Bruins Fan:
I say we pull out, and make them cut their own hair, grow their own flowers, and cater their own damn weddings that would then be decorated in appalling colors by the straight wedding planners.

billytea:

Yeah. Last therapy visit, I added up my stress sources over the last year. It equalled the stress from 3.8 deaths of spouses.

Not only am I having a rough year, the only people who understand my pain are in certain breakaway sects in Utah.