From the new Lost thread:

libkitty:

I also had a glass of wine with dinner, which I am now realizing affected me more than I had thought, 'cause I can't type worth shit right now. I am such a wine wimp.

beathen:

I think you were drinking the "will cause funny typing" kind of wine. It doesn't affect speech, only the fingers. It's also known as the "dyslexic fingers" wine. The warning label reads: "Will cause extreme typing unfriendliness. Do not take before tests, while writing papers or while nattering with the Buffistas."

Polter-Cow speculates on plot developments he'd like to see for Lost:

Someone needs to get scurvy. Just so they can say the word "scurvy."

Jack: "She's got scurvy."
Hurley: "What's scurvy, dude?"
Jack: "It results from Vitamin C deficiency."
Shannon: "Vitamin what?"
Hurley: "Well she hasn't been drinking a lot of OJ, man."
Locke: "At first light, we hunt. The OJ sleeps during the day, leaving the pulp to protect the young. The young are the most vulnerable. We need two to distract the pulp and one to fill the glass."

In Bitches:

P-C:

I am at lab, doing a Western.

Trudes:

I know what he's talking about. But it's more fun to picture him and a bunch of other earnest grad students walking around in lab coats and ten gallon hats. "Ain't no man touches my sliiiiiides without hearin' from ol Sabin here" pats gun "there ain't room enough in this lab fer a low down, no good, snake in the grass, MICROSCOPE RUSTLER" One spits chaw, the others throw their bodies over their petri dishes...

Sue:

Next thing you know, I'll find out that Tim is developing an inspirational series about a happy, functional family who sing together by day, and help little old ladies and lost puppies by night. They would fight crime... except there's no crime in their town to fight!

Betsy: If you say it's because Saddam Hussein was evil and oppressed his people (true), then you need to explain why we consider Uzbekistan an ally and a valued member of the Coalition of the Willing. Why invade Iraq instead of Uzbekistan?

Nutty: Uzbekistan is harder to spell. Therefore, it was spared our righteous wrath.

Cindy, your Beverly is actually Betsy.

They look so similar in this light. Thanks, Dana.

Cashmere:

I try not to compare myself with people who are pretty for a living. It defeats the purpose. It's much easier to be a smart ass. Now if only I could make a living at that, I'd be on the gravy train with biscuit wheels.

Birth-talk in Natter:

Aimee: I am very modest, body wise. I finally started changing at the gym out in the open after about a month or so. I had to get used to it. But other than that, well, I am still operating under the mistaken impression that I can give birth while wearing panties.

DavidS: I'm thinking you might want to avoid the slingshot effect with an elastic waistband.

"Push!"
Sproing!
"Sonofabitch!"
"Okay, that's a do-over."

Some more birth-talk in Natter:

Aimée: I would tape it and show it to my children when they became of an age that they might be thinking of having sex.

"See that? That's where they come from. Forget the romantic crap I told you when you were 4. See that? That's an episiotomy. Took me a month to heal. See that? That's WITH NARCOTICS!! Have a nice date."

Cashmere, in Natter:

The baby has started rolling around on the floor. So it's either I buy Swiffer in bulk or wrap Owen in double-sided tape and use him like chubby little sticky roller.