The conversation in Quotable Angel needs be immortalized for its brilliance:

connie neil: Of course, Heather would be a good custodian of votes, but what I think this question really comes down to is, what kind of Angel do you want today? Is your Angel better off than he was five years ago? I submit to you, my friends, that this question can only be resolved by someone who appreciates the charming Angel, the wry Angel, and all those who surround him.

Heather Alayne: I agree with Connie's assesment of the question, but the answer is not found in the quotes she favors, but in the quotes that last in all Buffistas' hearts and minds. Ms. Neil, I know Tim Minear; Tim Minear is a good friend of mine, and you are no Tim Minear.

I heard connie had a secret confrence with the writers and asked if they couldn't make Cordy "softer, more motherly and saint-like"

connie neil: It grieves me that my honorable opponent has allowed the tenor of our discussion to be lowered with hearsay and rumor which, if examined with a clear and reasoning eye, would easily be seen to be merely the result of muckraking and small mindedness. We must not be taken in by divisiveness! Ask not what your Deathmatch can do for you. Instead, ask what you can do for your Deathmatch!

I heard Heather was responsible for Eve, even going so far as to personally attend auditions

Heather Alayne: If that's the route my opponent wishes to take, I find it unfortunate. I would never ever have mentioned her role in bringing Spike back from the grave- even though it is a documented fact that she is a member of Fans For Spike's Return. In all of this, Ms. Neil has forgotten that this is about the quotes.

connie was wholly responsible for "She"

connie neil: I have never been ashamed of my membership in Fans For Spike's Return. It is not a membership I have ever tried to hide, and it is a group known for its interests in perpetuating the arts and finer things in life. It is a community with a proven program of bringing quotes to the masses, sharing screen caps with the less fortunate, making sure that all those in our great land have a little bit of Spike to call their own, if they so desire. But all tastes are valid, and everyone is welcome under the big tent. Let us then go forward together into the Deathmatch, that these quotes should not perish from the map!

Heather told Gunn to grow his hair

Heather Alayne: Fans For Spike's Return, and Ms. Neil forget the groups' history. Do we really want vampire NAZIS influencing the outcome of this deathmatch. Ms. Neil thinks you will just accept this, that you are ok with vampire NAZIS running things. I think you're stronger and better than that. And together let's send Ms. Neil the message that vampire NAZIS are not welcome in this thread.

connie made sure Gunn never had fewer than 2 layers of clothing. There's documentation.

connie neil: Where Ms. Alayne see "NAZIS", others see only food and the occasional example of fashion flair. Ms. Alayne and her coterie of supporters are trying to obscure the true issues of this Deathmatch with irrelevant comparisons and cant phrases. Her party is afraid to leave the decisions that will affect us all to the intelligent, informed voters, instead relying on kneejerk panic to sway the voting. Show us the Quotes of Mass Destruction, Ms. Alayne.

Heather made Angel sing

Matt the Bruins fan: Connie, rejoinders to I heard connie had a secret confrence with the writers and asked if they couldn't make Cordy "softer, more motherly and saint-like" are like Giles trying to follow up Buffy's comment about Moloch finding the nuclear launch codes in "I Robot, You Jane." You're never going to find anything that damning to throw at Heather. Well, unless you discover that she's secretly a Fox programming executive...

Heather Alayne: Funny you should say that Matt, because I have heard rumors that connie...

I'm sorry, I have to leave work now.

I want you to know that Mr. H found that not funnny at all, even though I invoked NAZIs

billytea: I led you astray, Wolfram! I can't decide whether to apologise or twirl my moustache.

Lee

Dear Mother Nature,

As many people have noticed and commented on, it is July.

Hence, it is no longer June.

Please to stop the June Gloom now, and give us back our orb.

Thank you,

People of Los Angeles

P.M. Marcontell

Dear LA:

Please take back your effin' sunshine. It's driving us nuts.

Thanks,

Seattle.

Teppy, in the "Other media (comics)" thread:

My mind is a funhouse that's been turned into a crack den.

Tom Scola, in Buffistechnology:

Disclaimer: Please note that the relative coolness of the handheld device has little or no bearing on the absolute coolness of the individual operating the handheld device, and that the individual posting this message ("Tom Scola") makes no claim that he is actually cooler than particular individuals who own a Sidekick handheld device (i.e. "NoiseDesign" and "Jen"), and that the poster must admit that he is not fit to lick the (vegan, simulated leather, in the case of Jen) boots of the Sidekick operators in the coolness department. Your cool may vary. All rights reserved.

Dana is disillusioned in Literary.

If punctuation doesn't protect you among the Buffistas, then I don't think I have any faith left in the world.

Steph L., in Literary:

Actually, none of the other books like "Fear and Loathing," because it's completely indiscriminate with its drugs, happily taking combinations that would make even the most jaded books cringe. And then the "Fear and Loathings" either try to chatter incessantly about bookmarks and booklights and folded-down corners and people who write in books, or they start shooting at the sci-fi books, which never ever ends well, because the sci-fi books have all the good technology to fight back, and a few Michael Crichtons always end up as collateral damage.

In Natter --

billytea: I give myself shuddering nightmares imagining where they would go with gay daleks. Though in your average Queer Eye ep, you could replace early Thom with a dalek. "YOUR FURNITURE PREDATES THE DISCOVERY OF FIRE. IT MUST BE EXTERMINATED."

In Natter, msbelle:

yes, ita, you are a loser and all of society will sneer at you and consider you an untrustworthy outsider. Consider yourself uninvited for Reindeer Games 2004.