billytea's nominee for best typo, ever: For me, the One True Typo is that one from a law firm, where a senior partner assures the client that he will be handling their case, and firm associates will be assfisting him as necessary and at the company standard rates.

In LOTR, about new scenes in the ROTK Extended Edition:

Miracleman:

I wanna see the "Scooby-Doo ending"!

"Let's find out who Sauron REALLY is!"

*gasp* "It's Radagast the Brown!"

"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling hobbits!"

MechaKrelboyne:

And then in ten years they can CGI in a younger, slimmer Radagast The Brown. And there can be the scene where Radagast shoots first.

Raquel:

And they'll digitally replace all the swords with walkie-talkies.

MechaKrelboyne:

Naw, they have to do that with all the weapons. Which I think would be cool. Dude, did you see Lurtz just shoot five walkie talkies through Boromir's chest? Hardcore. And when they brought up the siege weaponry and shot those giant walkie talkies with ther ropes on over the walls?

Aimee:

(Ya know, if they were being all that "responsible" for kids and shit in the rerelease of ET, they would have replaced the Reeses Pieces with banana chips.)

Emily, in F2F, on Unconditional Buffista Love:

You can wear jeans and a t-shirt with a big floppy teddy bear picked out in pink that says "I wuv you and so does George W., bless his non-serial-comma-using heart!" and your worth and excitingness will not change one iota, goddammit!

As ever, the Buffistas are a ready and willing font of information:

NovaChild:

I'm still not working on my homework. This is a bad thing.

Anybody know anything about Crow's polygon rasterizing algorithm?

(sigh)

Cass :

<Googles>

<breaks brain>

No, but now I am fascinated. NovaChild, I blame you if I go and learn something tonight instead of watching tv.

tommyrot :

It's, um... good. It rasterizes the fuck out of those polygons.

ita :

Is that the algorithm that came back from the dead to rasterise the algorithms that had vectorised its heuristics

Polter-Cow:

There once was a country named Canada
Who thought all the Yankees were mad at the
Silly Canucks
With their looneys and ducks,
But in truth, it's just hard to rhyme "Canada."

Vortex, in Literary:

The movie is never as good as the book. (which was also my answer if people asked why I hadn't seen The Passion)

The Bitches at play

Erin I would probably be a much happier person if I just went around sporking people and then setting them on fire.

NoiseDesign That's your answer for everything. Well, everything that isn't answered by "Let's stick a spork in it."

Erin A spork is NOT a toy.

NoiseDesign Of course not, that's what Knives are for.

Erin Yes, but knives are obvious.

A spork, now...Sporks have subtley. No one ever foresees their death by spork. Sporks are stealthy.

Neighbors

I stapled the Canadians
To their side of the border
But they wouldn't stay put
nor follow our order

Perhaps because
I used my library's stapler
At any rate, I'm sure
Vermont syrup's mapler.

Canadians are mean
But at least they don't stink
Like some other furriners
And dog breath, and mink

But they're so damned
"Nice" and also cute, it
Seems they're just too
Darned Canadian aboot it

Frost said, "Good fences
make good neighbors"
He didn't know about Canadians
Nor their evil labors

A Berliner might tell you,
"Eventually it will fall,"
But China's got the ticket
With their big, honkin' wall

our own Topic!Cindy

Two from Great Write Way, context be damned:

erikaj :

If the world ends, will somebody come take my dictation?

connie neil:

Nearly every job I've gotten can be traced back to a Secretarial Typing course I took in high school. IBM Selectrics, those honking big beasts. First day of class, first instructions. "Turn on the machines". Big whirr of fans. "Hit the Return button." The guy sitting behind me does, and the carriage return flies off the machine onto the floor. He stares at it, then looks at the teacher.

"I should just drop this class now, right?"