Typo Boy, in Natter:

Similarly supporting a legal viewpoint on the basis of orginal intent is saying "I know what the founding fathers meant and the fact that they were a lot of differing people with different viewpoints is irrelevent"; sort of a "Thomas Jefferson supports me in e-mail".

Many tried, but the birthday boy nailed it:

tommyrot: "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wie -- hey look, pigs!"

Aimée, with serial observations in Bitches:

The Snickers is proof that God loves us.

shortly followed by...

The Double Chin is proof that God's love is a tough love.

amyparker: And the guy at the meat counter said the sweetest thing! I walked in after and was wearing my new coat and chunky heels and he took one look and said "You look as if you should have a gun under that coat." I could have kissed him!

UTTAD: With all this promotion and great reviews, Fox are going to have to work twice as hard to get this show hooked. Maybe they'll get tired and leave it alone.

Tommyrot:

Why is it 19 degrees out?

Kalshane:

Because we're in Chicago and March is cruel and a malicious month? It taunts with springtime and then snatches it away.

"Hey look, spring is here. It's sunny. The birds are singing. It might reach 50 today... Nope, changed my mind, have 3 feet of snow!"

A few days later "Hey, sorry about that snow thing. Look, I'm making it melt. Isn't it wonderful? Hah, here comes Mr. Windchill!"

Which goes on and on until April swoops in, conks March over the head and proceeds to dump rain on us for the length of its stay.

aurelia:

I think it's safe to presume Kalshane doesn't have a job in the Chicago tourism industry.

Kalshane:

Well, I just try to be honest. When people in other parts of the country ask me when's the best time to visit Chicago I always reply "What type of weather can you most easily tolerate: bitter cold and wind, rain and wind, or hot and muggy?"

But I have no intention of leaving. I like having the different seasons, even if I don't care for the actual weather during those seasons some of the time. Maybe I'm secretly a weather masochist and I'm just hiding it from myself.

Whoo-hoo, I finally got COMMed, and twice in one day! I feel all special and stuff. And wonder if I should bitch about the weather more often.

t /natter

ETA: Okay, now that I've read through the entire thread, I see I was COMMed once before, so I'm a couple months late in my "Whoo-hoo"-age. Oops.

Allyson :

Tim needs a tagline.

Miracleman :

How about "Cower, brief mortals!"

Aimée :

"I can kill you with Final Draft 6.0"

P.M. Marcontell :

Fluffy bunny.

Jilli VoiceOfReason :

Zombie fluffy bunny.

Miracleman :

How's about: I am become Death, shatterer of beloved characters just to make you cry, nyah nyah.

Betsy HP :

Tim flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Matt the Bruins fan:

I think "My name is Tim, Showrunner of Showrunners: Look upon my works, ye Parents Television Council reviewers, and despair!" has a nice ring to it.

Narrator :

Tim: "Killing your Favorite Characters Since 19__." (fill in whatever date applies)

Kalshane :

"Have scythe, will travel?"

"To the pain! (Well, maybe a bit of death, too.)"

"Damn right you should fear the reaper."

Elais:

Tim: "Cuter than a beagle"

Kristen:

"I don't even have an internet connection. Anyone claiming to be me on the net is a liar."

ita in Natter

FIRST SEA LION: Huh. Tastes like chicken.

SECOND SEA LION: You're shitting me.

FIRST SEA LION: I swear! Try it.

SECOND SEA LION: Eww. You'll put your mouth on anything. Besides -- look! It swam away.