Mal ,'Heart Of Gold'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In Bitches:
DXMachina: Man, wouldn't it have been cool to have had the internet back in 1776?
Emily (I think): Nah. There'd have ended up being twenty different versions, and just when they thought they were done and everybody'd signed it John Adams'd be all "Could we just slip this bit in here? Just cut and paste it in right under the Bill of Rights, be done in five seconds. Thanks awfully. Yrs Trly in Prst of Frdm frm Tyrnny & Injstc, J.A."
Billytea: Millipedes, however, I'm perfectly comfortable with. I suspect my spindly-leg squick is determined by the length:body mass ratio.
This may explain my love of penguins.
****
StephL: My college roommate and I used to offer sacrificial vegetables (from the salad bar in the dining hall) to our radiator. It was an old one, and it banged and rattled and made so much noise we figured it was possessed. So the natural way to deal with it was vegetable sacrifice.
Yup, it was Emily.
erikaj in Literary:
I read so many books because I didn't learn to talk to people till high school
...which I quote with love and the admission that I didn't learn to talk to people until college, so she was way ahead of me.
Raquel:
Overheard in the gym: Guy 1: "Yo." Guy 2: "Yo. Sup?" Guy 1: "Same soup, reheated." Guy 2: "Ah, man, they ain't makin' you use the same bowl?" Guy 1: "Same bowl." Guy 2: "Same spoon?" Guy 1: "Same spoon. But I ain't complainin'; they rinsed it off some."
Guy 2 finishes his set and leaves. Guy 3 enters.
Guy 3: "Hello, James." Guy 1: "Hey, Stephen. How are you today?" Guy 3: "Not too bad, thanks."
Bilingual. I'm so jealous.
Natter:
Perkins:
It's funny that the name conversation came up today. I was in a meeting today with one of the partners and two associates. It's gotten to be kind of a running joke how many different ways the partner will find to say my last name, so at the end of the meeting, when he had to call someone, and introduce everybody in the room, the two associates and I kind of looked at each other, getting ready to giggle.
He called me Lisa.
Allyson:
Start calling him, "Champ."
"You still need that cite, Champ?"
"That precedent was set in 1965, Champ."
"Hey Champ, I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow."
Eventually, he will say, "My name is not Champ."
At which point you can say, "I know. And my name is not Lisa."
And the coda:
Perkins:
I like the Champ idea Allyson, except that he's the kind of person who might like it.
Allyson:
Replace "Champ" with "Tool" and it should work just fine.
In Natter, laughing with Betsy...
Betsy: I just walked backward into a fountain.
sarameg: Is that part of some sort of ritual?
Allyson: Did you fall into the fountain like Davy Jones in a zany madcap episode of the Monkees?
Betsy: Yes, actually. I was standing in line in the company courtyard to get a hamburger, I stepped back to get out of somebody else's way, and I fell into the fountain.
It was one of those modernistic fountains that's a pile of pebbles sunk 1 foot below the stone courtyard, but still. My badge is dripping.
I feel that I have contributed my quantum to today's Comedy Quotient.
Allyson: As is the rule amongst my tribe, first we must laugh at you, then we check to make sure you are alright. If you are alright, we must laugh at you again, and if you are hurt, we shall care for you until such a time when you have recovered sufficiently to take the laughing at.
Whoa! COMM Hat Trick Baybee!
In Bitches:
Jess PMoon: Between this and the DVD-buying thing, I should really have a penis.
billytea: Have you checked eBay?