Deborah Grabien vs. the math teacher:
"Good morning, Deborah. I'm Mister/Mrs/Ms/Professor Whatever, and I'll be your mathematics teacher. Now, let's get started. First off - why do you need to know Math? (gives indulgent smile) Well, Math is the foundation of all things. With it, we can see the foundation of our world and our universe, plus do things like build bridges and tell what's oblique and what's acute."
(teacher takes sip of water)
"Let's start with the basics. Oh, good, you know how to do some of it already? Good, that's a start. Now, the thing to remember is, Math is true all the time, everywhere; it's the one great constant in the universe. Yes, haha, I know it sounds like a religion, but it isn't, it's science. Now, as I was saying, - what do you mean, how do I know it's constant? Here, watch this, I'll prove this to you."
(turns to chalkboard)
"Two plus two equals four. See? What do you mean, what's a two? (makes rather too obvious mental note, deciding that child is either a moron or a wiseass) How many hands do you have - two, precisely. What do you mean, what makes that combination 'two'? Because those things put together will always equal that quantity, and we call it 'two', OK? No, it is NOT an 'artificial construct designed to make it easier to order things the way I want them!' - it's MATH!"
(voice is getting shrill)
"How do I know that? How do I know WHAT? About it always equalling four? Because it's MATH! Math is a CONSTANT! Look, you have to take constants as a matter of faith, or else the universe becomes - I don't CARE that what you perceive as the artificial imposition of order on chaos to make the species feel better about itself is the reason you're not a practicing member of any known religion! We're not talking about theology, or philosophy - we're talking about NUMBERS! And LOGIC! Are you insane, or just stupid? You have to accept constancy! And I swear, if you say that you don't see what logic has to do with believing in constants, I'm going to - OUT! GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!"