John H is Buffistechnology:

Spam is the dietary fibre of the internet

From Natter:

Allyson: I wish I had a sidekick.

sj: I volunteer.

Allyson: Would I have to rescue you everyday as you get yourself into trouble for foolishly trying to show some independence?

Because I don't know if I will always have the energy for that. Sometimes, my evil arch nemesis may hold you captive for days, feeding you raw beef hearts, and laughing maniacally, while I zone out in front of the Discovery Channel and eat a tub of pudding.

From the MonkeysMovies thread:

Angus G.:

Thelma and Louise could have been thrown out of the car and plucked out of the air by giant eagles and flown to safety.

Noumenon:

Giant eagles? Puh-lease. What kind of an ass-pull would that be?

billytea:

It was the Grand Canyon, right? They do have California condors in the vicinity. (Who, of course, would have heard the frightful commotion with the helicopters and the megaphone and all that, and would've... flown in to investigate! Yeah, that's it! They wouldn't have been scared off at all.)

I want to make it clear I was taking a cheap shot at Tolkien there to make Angus happy. And also put forth the idea of giant vultures. Giant vultures aren't scared of any damn thing. Too bad Sauron didn't have any to get him out of every tight corner.

I want to make it clear I was taking a cheap shot at Tolkien there to make Angus happy.

And I didn't even pick up the reference! D'oh! Thanks though Nou, cheap shots at Tolkien are always welcome even if they sail over my head.

In Firefly:

MechaKrelboyne:

I'm gonna have to start arranging for people to commit my enemies to Mental Institutions, so I can rescue them. It'll mess them up, if nothing else.

Elena:

See now, if you ever rescue me I'll never know if it's because of the barbeques or the mind-fuck. I'm all suspicious now.

ita in Bitches:

I've had martial arts like other women have had relationships. Before I hit puberty, I looked wistfully at judo and wondered what all these feelings meant. I popped my cherry on Tae Kwon Do, and still remember it with a smile, although that part of my life is gone. Capoeira stole me from TKD, and I didn't look back. It was love. It still is love, really, a big and overwhelming feeling that scares me so much that I've backed away until I feel ready. In the meanwhile, I've had a couple of really bad hookups with arts whose names I don't even remember, some good "with benefits" time with Muay Thai, and I'm right now in the middle of a tumultuous and heady relationship with krav maga -- but it's kinda open, and I don't feel guilty about my kickboxing assignations, or my wistful looks at the capoeira roda.

Men are confusing in comparison

From Atlantic Canadians, because context is for the weak.

Sue:

The mall has been full of insane curlers all week. I am very afraid!

Moonlit, in Bureaucracy.

Sorry for being so wordy but remember that even Greek (birthplace of democracy) politics no longer works as smoothly and democratically as it did when only male citizens were allowed to participate and political assassinations or incarcerations were popular ways of clarifying the discussion.

Am, in Bitchy Fic:

GVSP may have saved my life, but GJSP may yet kill me.