Okay, fleshing.

I like it, Victor. But I can't imagine Buffy saying "unearthly fiend" seriously -- not without me knowing why she'd changed so.

Okay, here's the rest of the fic, including a slightly fleshed out demon slaying. Please let me know what you think, because I need to finish it today. (did I mention it has to include a Monty Python quote?)"Andrew, just play a bloody tune so we can kill this bloody demon and bloody well go home."

Piping music filled the cavern, each off-key note further weakening the demon. Wes and Gunn moved in, weapons unerringly trained on newly exposed vulnerable flesh. Within minutes the monster lay dead in a pool of iridescent grey ichor.

• **

Wesley sat back in his obscenely comfortable office chair, contemplating the Gordian knot that his interpersonal relationships had become. As if it wasn't hard enough working with a soulled vampire whose son you had kidnapped, a half-crazed physicist, a romantic rival for the aforementioned half-crazed physicist, an undead ex-lover who persisted in hanging around despite the beheading, and all the evil lawyers; then he had to show up.

Andrew. With his insane cheerfulness and stunning ability to almost-but-not-quite get killed. With his annoying chatter and marvellous baking skills. With his innocent eyes that followed Wesley with abject hero worship. Though that last, Wesley had to admit, had been incredibly flattering at first, of late it had changed into something that made Wes slightly uneasy; something familiar. It had become, he realised with an unpleasant surge of memory, the gaze Fred had used to turn on Angel. The 'Handsome Man Saved Me From Monsters' look.

"Well," Wes thought, "I'm just going to have to have a talk with Andrew. Set him straight about his little crush."

The discretely closed doors of his office burst open to admit Andrew, in full dramatic mode, trailed by security staff.

"We have to talk." Andrew was trying to pull his arm away from a guard.

"It's not a particularly good time, Andrew." Wes motioned for the guards to remove the intruder.

"We have to talk about the crush you have on me!" Shock must have loosened the guards' grip, because Andrew stormed further into the office.

"My life," Wesley thought, "could not get any more surreal." He nodded to the guards and continued aloud, "You can go, gentlemen. Your assistance is not required."

He waited until the guards had left, closing the office doors behind them, before speaking again.

"Andrew, I assure you, I do not have a crush on you."

"Yes you do."

"I do not."

"You kissed me."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"I didn't."

"You put your lips on mine and you put your tongue in my mouth and you moved it around and that's a kiss."

"I was just moistening your mouth so you could play the flute."

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"No you weren't."

"Oh, I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?"

"What?"

Wesley realised that he was enjoying himself hugely. He could not remember the last time he'd had more fun. "Because if it was the five minute argument, your time is up."

"That was never five minutes!" Andrew's voice was perilously close to a full-blown whine.

"Yes it was."

"No it wasn't."

"I'm sorry, but your time is up. I'm not arguing anymore."

"What are you talking about, Wesley?" Definitely whining now. "Is this some sort of British humour?" Wes could hear Andrew spelling it with a 'U'.

"I suppose it is."

"Oh, it's like that Monty Python guy."

Wesley looked at Andrew, trying to decide if he really wanted to get into explanations, then realised he really had no choice about the matter. "Monty Python is not a person, it's the name of a troupe of comedians."

"Right, like that strange walking guy."

"Silly."

"It sure was - when he walked like this - " Andrew began to mince and lumber around the office in a massively misguided imitation of John Cleese's Minister, finally tangling his legs together so badly that he stumbled into a chair, tumbled over the desk, and landed square in Wesley's lap. Air was pushed from Wes' lungs in a huge gasp and he curled over Andrew, reflexively tightening his arms around the youngster. "It was - " Andrew looked up at Wes adoringly, "really, really - " he licked at his lips "silly."

Wesley stared down at Andrew, letting himself enjoy the trust and worship the young man offered.

"It's okay, Wesley." Andrew lifted a hand and patted a stubbled cheek comfortingly. "It's okay for a man to have a crush on another man."

"And what," Wesley thought, "can you do but lose yourself in such a wonderfully kind person." He smiled and lowered his head to kiss Andrew, quite thoroughly.

They slid to the floor in a graceful twist of limbs, hands moving slowly, exploring each the other.

When he felt slender hands fumbling with his belt Wesley couldn't help but laugh. "Are you here to book a vacation, or would you like a blow job?"

Andrew paused in his quest for zippers. "We're going on vacation?"

Whoa, soooo much to talk about.... I need to keep it quick.

For him, there is always someone dying in the distance.

That line floors me. But you need to check your tenses and bits and bobs. Here:

Him, nursing a growing, aimless rage. Her, more free than he had ever known her.

Surely that should be He, nursing and She, more free?

“It was so different then,” she thought, “so unlike the unearthly fiend that had murdered Angel. It was human once.”

Like ita, "unearthly fiend" rings wrong. But the tense is off, as well. "that had murdered Angel" needs fixing.

But this section is amazing.

Plei - no, never mind, I'll just be over there, whimpering. You rock.

Elena, the James Bond references cracked me up. And this?

Wesley sat back in his obscenely comfortable office chair, contemplating the Gordian knot that his interpersonal relationships had become. As if it wasn't hard enough working with a soulled vampire whose son you had kidnapped, a half-crazed physicist, a romantic rival for the aforementioned half-crazed physicist, an undead ex-lover who persisted in hanging around despite the beheading, and all the evil lawyers; then he had to show up.

Take the second "l" out of "souled" and it's out of the park, honey.

Elena, you are twisted. Truly, truly twisted. I love it, of course.

I can't hear Wes's voice in the last part nearly as well.

Would he plan on talking to Andrew, or would he just ignore it, unless, that is, someone else (like Lorne or Lorne, Fred and Gunn because it was so obvious) told him he should take care of it gently?

The discretely closed doors.

discreetly.

Wouldn't Andrew know Monty Python? It's a particularly geeky phenomenon, seems to me. I would think he'd be, at the least, quoting some back, even if it were just from The Holy Grail, which is probably (I think?) the most well-known Monty Python. I buy that he wouldn't know it was a group -- I didn't (embarrassed now, yes). something like:

"Oh, oh, I know this! Killer Rabbit!" (or) Ni! Ni!"

this part:

Wesley stared down at Andrew, letting himself enjoy the trust and worship the young man offered.

"It's okay, Wesley." Andrew lifted a hand and patted a stubbled cheek comfortingly. "It's okay for a man to have a crush on another man."

(love that line!)

"And what," Wesley thought, "can you do but lose yourself in such a wonderfully kind person." He smiled and lowered his head to kiss Andrew, quite thoroughly.

I would maybe change to something like:

Wesley stared down at Andrew.

"It's okay, Wesley." Andrew lifted a hand and patted a stubbled cheek comfortingly. "It's okay for a man to have a crush on another man."

"And what," Wesley thought, "am I to do with that?" He smiled and lowered his head to kiss Andrew, quite thoroughly.

They slid to the floor in a graceful twist of limbs, hands moving slowly, exploring each the other.

Andrew and graceful don't mix in my head very well.

I like the end, funny!

See, I like the graceful thing, because honestly, I think Andrew moves beautifully. I've had moments of watching him where I wondered if he hadn't been a dancer somewhere along the line; he's very easy in his own skin.

Am has some notes on a Dru I think is going to be spectacular, whenever she gets the story finished. hint. hint.

One day, Deena. One day.

Elena, I love it. Nice Andrew voice.

Elena,

I do like the new ending to the first part, very much, and I hope I haven't frustrated you with too much nitpicking. If I have, I'm sorry. It's a good story as it stands. Those are just my thoughts at the moment. I've got my yahoo messenger open if you want to talk about it more.

You have not frustrated me, Deena. I want the feedback. And I like your nitpicks.

Deb, do you know that spellcheck doesn't recognise any variation of 'souled'? I'm never sure if it's single or double 'l', but now I'll remember.

Goodness, all day I've been making its/it's and your/you're mistakes, which I never normally do.