Okay, here's the rest of the fic, including a slightly fleshed out demon slaying. Please let me know what you think, because I need to finish it today. (did I mention it has to include a Monty Python quote?)"Andrew, just play a bloody tune so we can kill this bloody demon and bloody well go home."
Piping music filled the cavern, each off-key note further weakening the demon. Wes and Gunn moved in, weapons unerringly trained on newly exposed vulnerable flesh. Within minutes the monster lay dead in a pool of iridescent grey ichor.
- **
Wesley sat back in his obscenely comfortable office chair, contemplating the Gordian knot that his interpersonal relationships had become. As if it wasn't hard enough working with a soulled vampire whose son you had kidnapped, a half-crazed physicist, a romantic rival for the aforementioned half-crazed physicist, an undead ex-lover who persisted in hanging around despite the beheading, and all the evil lawyers; then he had to show up.
Andrew. With his insane cheerfulness and stunning ability to almost-but-not-quite get killed. With his annoying chatter and marvellous baking skills. With his innocent eyes that followed Wesley with abject hero worship. Though that last, Wesley had to admit, had been incredibly flattering at first, of late it had changed into something that made Wes slightly uneasy; something familiar. It had become, he realised with an unpleasant surge of memory, the gaze Fred had used to turn on Angel. The 'Handsome Man Saved Me From Monsters' look.
"Well," Wes thought, "I'm just going to have to have a talk with Andrew. Set him straight about his little crush."
The discretely closed doors of his office burst open to admit Andrew, in full dramatic mode, trailed by security staff.
"We have to talk." Andrew was trying to pull his arm away from a guard.
"It's not a particularly good time, Andrew." Wes motioned for the guards to remove the intruder.
"We have to talk about the crush you have on me!" Shock must have loosened the guards' grip, because Andrew stormed further into the office.
"My life," Wesley thought, "could not get any more surreal." He nodded to the guards and continued aloud, "You can go, gentlemen. Your assistance is not required."
He waited until the guards had left, closing the office doors behind them, before speaking again.
"Andrew, I assure you, I do not have a crush on you."
"Yes you do."
"I do not."
"You kissed me."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did!"
"I didn't."
"You put your lips on mine and you put your tongue in my mouth and you moved it around and that's a kiss."
"I was just moistening your mouth so you could play the flute."
"No you weren't."
"Yes I was."
"No you weren't."
"Oh, I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?"
"What?"
Wesley realised that he was enjoying himself hugely. He could not remember the last time he'd had more fun. "Because if it was the five minute argument, your time is up."
"That was never five minutes!" Andrew's voice was perilously close to a full-blown whine.
"Yes it was."
"No it wasn't."
"I'm sorry, but your time is up. I'm not arguing anymore."
"What are you talking about, Wesley?" Definitely whining now. "Is this some sort of British humour?" Wes could hear Andrew spelling it with a 'U'.
"I suppose it is."
"Oh, it's like that Monty Python guy."
Wesley looked at Andrew, trying to decide if he really wanted to get into explanations, then realised he really had no choice about the matter. "Monty Python is not a person, it's the name of a troupe of comedians."
"Right, like that strange walking guy."
"Silly."
"It sure was - when he walked like this - " Andrew began to mince and lumber around the office in a massively misguided imitation of John Cleese's Minister, finally tangling his legs together so badly that he stumbled into a chair, tumbled over the desk, and landed square in Wesley's lap. Air was pushed from Wes' lungs in a huge gasp and he curled over Andrew, reflexively tightening his arms around the youngster. "It was - " Andrew looked up at Wes adoringly, "really, really - " he licked at his lips "silly."
Wesley stared down at Andrew, letting himself enjoy the trust and worship the young man offered.
"It's okay, Wesley." Andrew lifted a hand and patted a stubbled cheek comfortingly. "It's okay for a man to have a crush on another man."
"And what," Wesley thought, "can you do but lose yourself in such a wonderfully kind person." He smiled and lowered his head to kiss Andrew, quite thoroughly.
They slid to the floor in a graceful twist of limbs, hands moving slowly, exploring each the other.
When he felt slender hands fumbling with his belt Wesley couldn't help but laugh. "Are you here to book a vacation, or would you like a blow job?"
Andrew paused in his quest for zippers. "We're going on vacation?"