I'm pretty sure a kid can only have two legal parents at a time.

I resent being called crazy for wanting the pain to stop.

Sorry, Allyson! the slight was very much Not intended!

I was just speaking from my own perspective. As in: me vs. the rest of the world and how I believe I'm different from people who don't take antidepressants to survive. It was totally personal to myself.

My experience as well, JZ. But from longer ago. My dad adopted my step-sis and step-brother yonks ago and both of their bio dads had to sign off on the process.

What JZ said. Most if not all states will presume that the husband is the father and grant him parental rights. IIRC, taking away those parental rights can't be done without his permission or a court battle.

Oh! And what Perkins said. Cause my stepmom also had a quick marriage of convienence to somebody else *not* my step-sis's dad at the time of the birth and he had to sign off on it too.

Cool. Thanks. That clears up some of this Miami Vice episode.

TV and the Internet: Educational Together.

I'm glad that other people had Actual Information, because I remembered after I posted that all of my legal "knowledge" comes from Law & Order.

Most if not all states will presume that the husband is the father and grant him parental rights.

Huh. 'Cause that wasn't my friend's experience at all -- his wife had never actually married her child's biodad and he'd been completely uninvolved and uninterested in the child at all, right up until the day my friend's wife's lawyer asked him to sign the papers. At which point he came roaring out with all kinds of threats and bluster about his manhood and his baby and some interloper stealing his flesh and blood, and despite never having met the kid or had any interaction with the mom since she told him she was pregnant, he nearly managed to derail the entire thing. Until one of his friends pulled him aside and explained that if he gave up his parental rights then that other guy would have to pay all the kid's expenses for, like, ever, and he'd be completely off the hook. Upon hearing which, he docilely signed and promptly vanished.

But until he signed, the CA courts didn't seem to care that he wasn't the husband and had never been the husband and had actively refused all involvement. He was biodad, and until he formally renounced, that's what counted.

Mosquitos suck. Well, literally, but also figuratively. Apparently the worst spot is above the elbows. I guess my upper arms weren't moving enough when my lower arms were flailing around trying to keep the blood-sucking monsters away from my face and ears. And Caladryl doesn't seem to be working as well as it used to.

I know I shouldn't scratch. I know this. And yet....

The two situations aren't contradictory, JZ. ita's original question was

If I divorce the father of my kid and remarry and want my new husband to adopt, does the kid's biological father have a say? And does his status change when the adoption goes through?

If a couple is married at the time the woman has a baby, the presumption is that the husband is also the father. That's not to say that the presumption can't be overridden, or that biodad has to be married to mom for him to have rights, just that if a woman is married when she has a kid, the person she is married to will probably have some rights.