River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are. Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

'Safe'


Natter .44 Magnum: Do You Feel Chatty, Punk?  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Typo Boy - May 29, 2006 4:57:49 pm PDT #9453 of 10002
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

I get the feeling people are talking about suicide as a thoughout decision. And I can see cases where maybe it is. But I think mostly it is a response to intense physical or mental pain where you are just going "oh god, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop". And you may be aware of other things besides the pain, but they are all far away and unimportant, and you are scared of dying but just want to make in all freakin go away. And the people who don't go that far - who ask for help before they get to the actual committing suicide stage or make likely to fail attempts - my guess is that they were strong enough or lucky enough to be able to see something past the pain.

There are bound to be exceptions, but I expect they are rarer than you might think.


Jesse - May 29, 2006 5:03:32 pm PDT #9454 of 10002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

My cable went out for a bit after the loudest crack of thunder a while ago.


Sean K - May 29, 2006 5:04:03 pm PDT #9455 of 10002
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

ita and Gar, you both make good points. Actually, everybody previously had made good points. It's clearly an emotionally fraught subject. I'm actually a little surprised that I'm being as calm about it as I am, considering in the past it's something that's caused me to get quite upset, but I'm specifically avoiding poking the personally painful parts that this subject is related to.


§ ita § - May 29, 2006 5:04:15 pm PDT #9456 of 10002
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Adoption question:

If I divorce the father of my kid and remarry and want my new husband to adopt, does the kid's biological father have a say? And does his status change when the adoption goes through?


Sean K - May 29, 2006 5:05:21 pm PDT #9457 of 10002
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

MiracleMan might be someone who can weigh in knowledgably on the subject. I don't know when he'll wander by, though.


JZ - May 29, 2006 5:09:17 pm PDT #9458 of 10002
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

If I divorce the father of my kid and remarry and want my new husband to adopt, does the kid's biological father have a say? And does his status change when the adoption goes through?

Several years ago a guy I knew married a woman in a similar situation -- not that this is a universal, but at least in California, as of 1999-2000, the biofather had to formally cede his paternal rights in order for the biomother's new husband to adopt and become a legal parent.


Jesse - May 29, 2006 5:11:31 pm PDT #9459 of 10002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

I'm pretty sure a kid can only have two legal parents at a time.


quester - May 29, 2006 5:12:14 pm PDT #9460 of 10002
Danger is my middle name, only I spell it R. u. t. h. - Tina Belcher.

I resent being called crazy for wanting the pain to stop.

Sorry, Allyson! the slight was very much Not intended!

I was just speaking from my own perspective. As in: me vs. the rest of the world and how I believe I'm different from people who don't take antidepressants to survive. It was totally personal to myself.


Cass - May 29, 2006 5:12:19 pm PDT #9461 of 10002
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.

My experience as well, JZ. But from longer ago. My dad adopted my step-sis and step-brother yonks ago and both of their bio dads had to sign off on the process.


Lee - May 29, 2006 5:13:29 pm PDT #9462 of 10002
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.

What JZ said. Most if not all states will presume that the husband is the father and grant him parental rights. IIRC, taking away those parental rights can't be done without his permission or a court battle.