Please tell me that the Moonie religion is based on a Monty Python sketch. It's the only way to explain comments like:
"After the act of love," read the instructions from the Rev. Moon's conservative Family Federation, "both spouses should wipe their sexual areas with the Holy Handkerchief. Hang the handkerchief[s] to dry naturally and keep them eternally. They must be kept individually labeled and should never be laundered and mixed up."
[eta: It took me until I posted to fully comprehend the "should never be laundered" part of that quote. Now that I have....ew.]
Do Wet Naps count as Holy Handkerchiefs?
Revere that wet spot, people.
This must be my random observation day. From Kathy's link:
One investigator testified that Dean Bauer, Ryan's handpicked inspector general, refused to let him investigate a 1994 crash outside Milwaukee in which six children of Duane and Janice Willis were killed.
Um, maybe I'm missing something here. But why would the governor of Illinois have anything to do with investigating a crash in Wisconsin?
both spouses should wipe their sexual areas with the Holy Handkerchief
Am I the only one who added the words, "of Antioch"?
Um, maybe I'm missing something here. But why would the governor of Illinois have anything to do with investigating a crash in Wisconsin?
Um.... the IL Gov was involved in a "License for bribes" scandal, where truck licenses were "sold" (eta: so the drivers didn't have to pass the test) and the bribe money funneled to his campaign. A truck driver who got his license this way got into an accident in WI that killed some kids.
Apropos of nothing, I'm wearing a foofy skirt today, with two lace-trimmed underskirts. It's very fun.
The shirt that was perfect a couple weeks ago, wrt fit at ribs and fit around the bosom is still pretty good. Hopefully there are some left in the store. And I might have a coupon lying around...
Hang the handkerchief[s] to dry naturally and keep them eternally. They must be kept individually labeled and should never be laundered and mixed up."
So, do you use a new Holy Handkerchief each time, or what?
Also from the link:
Moon's Federation offers an instruction manual explaining, among other things....how Satan can be banished with the spank of a wooden paddle
Now, I can get behind that. Or in front of it. Whatever.
Now, I can get behind that. Or in front of it. Whatever.
I can't.
Why would you want to banish Satan?
Why would you want to banish Satan?
Because you get spanked as part of the deal! Or get to do the spanking. Whatever. Fun for the whole family!
Fun for the whole family!
Not once you get to the part about the pliers and concrete...
