ImememeN, I was up all night with another toothache. Why do my teeth hate me so?

Oh, no. You poor baby.

Also, it's my grandmother's 90th birthday today. There is no appropriate way to explain how perfect it is that her birthday is April Fool's Day. Nope, none.

C'mon, girl. You're a writer, for heaven's sake.

vw, here's a note for your roommate:

Dear [Not!Emily],

I got your note this morning. I intended to clean this morning anyhow, but was unable to, because your houseguest slept in, and I was afraid you would be angry if I woke her, so that I could start cleaning. I planned to start on the dishes once she woke, but then she got in the shower. There was insufficient hot water to do them after she showered.

Once the hot water finally returned, I needed to take my own shower. I'm sure you'll understand, as I have not been able to shower, since my latest medical escapade began. I should probably mention here that I have been forbidden to dust and vacuum, because there were static electricity issues with my monitor, otherwise, I would have tackled those chores earlier in the week, when I was unable to leave the house.

Since the state of the apartment is bothering you, I'm sure you'll understand when I say that it is bothering me, even more. This is what I'm wondering, though: I'm wondering why you would think I clean, or would clean for you? Emily and I are friends and long-time roommates, and have our own arrangements between us, as to who handles what, when and why--based on our strengths and interests. I have no such arrangement with you, nor any desire to enter into such an arrangement with you.

Since you would like the apartment up to your standards, in order to please your houseguests, and because my cleaning plans were thwarted by your previous houseguest, I suggest you clean it before they arrive, otherwise, I see no way it is going to be in shape, before they get here.

Thanks,
Valerie

Then, vw? You take your own crap outta the living room (books, craft stuff, etc.), and shove it in your bedroom, and close the door 'til you feel like dealing with it. Put away whatever of your own stuff you might have left on the bathroom and kitchen counters, etc., do yours and Emily's dishes (ONLY), and you plop yourself in front of the TV, and watch it 'til your eyes fall out of your head.

You've had severe asthma, a painfully debilitating physical reaction to the steroids that were prescribed to treat the asthma, and were under your doctor's orders to stay off your feet. As soon as that started to let up, you started having SEIZURES SO FREQUENTLY AND SEVERELY THAT YOU WERE HOSPITALIZED. Now, no matter what is causing the seizures, you're having them, and it's fricking scary, and you've had to walk around for half the week with A FRIGGING MONITOR ATTACHED TO YOUR HEAD.

I think just *MAYBE* Not!Emily could have done a little housework, out of human decency, particulary as he can apparently get his knickers in a twist when the housework isn't done. It's one thing if he was happily wallowing in slobdom. Some people don't care about housework enough to notice what's not done. I bear them no ill will. But someone who is going to leave you a note as if you worked for him? He needs to be set straight.

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Ok. The dishes are done and all the canned goods/bread/rice are put away. I left the icky grill pan he left from dinner the other night, but did the rest of his dishes, because I'm nicer than I ought to be. I need to wipe down the counter tops and the stove, but I'll do that in a bit.

Apparently my post came too late. Do what you gotta do. I had to vent. I'm irrationally angry with Not!Emily, given I wouldn't know him if I ran him over (again and again and again).

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Cindy, I am Right. There. With you.

I want to smack the bejayzus out of him. I realise that I only know a bit of the story, and I know that I'm a total slob myself, and just Very Bloody Lucky that my flatmate has a similar level of mess tolerance to me, but for the love of little green apples, what PLANET is this bloke from?

Clearly a planet which I shall never be visiting, unless it is with the intention of making lots of mess and kicking some ass.

vw, I know you have been wanting to tidy up, and if the process of straightening things helps you feel better, then that's fair enough. But washing up his stuff?

Bugger that for a game of soldiers.

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AND a bunch of bananas!

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Thanks, Cindy. I originally thought I was irrationally angry, but I've realized that I'm not. I just wish I was better at dealing with it.

He just got home from his hockey game. He *thanked* me for doing the dishes, like I'd done him a favor. Whatev.

Also, he hasn't paid his rent yet. He promised cash to Emily this morning. But, then he got up late and had to run off to his game. I called him at his game and asked him to remember to stop and get it before he came home. After all this bullshit, he came home without it. Now he's taking a shower, then he's gonna run out to get the money. AFTER Emily's bank has closed for the day.

I'm really quite pissed.

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And now his GF if washing the pan I left for him. Lazy ass.

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Is it cast iron? Can you whack him with it?

CAN I????

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Alas, it is not cast iron, but yes, you can whack him with it. I think it would still hurt.

Damn it, now she's wiping down the counters, so I look like a lazy ass.

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Um. I don't like Not!Emily. At all.

I think he's a jerk and I hope all of the hot water was gone when he took his shower.

What a putz.

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You do not look lazy! You look like a woman with electrodes stuck to your head!

Not!Emily is inconsiderate and lazy. He obviously doesn't care that you've been sick and have electrodes stuck to your head. He has guests over that use all your hot water, he's late with the rent, and he evidentally leaves his girlfriend to do his cleaning up for him.

Reasonable, nice people pick up the slack and don't leave nasty notes when their roommate has been sick and has to have electrodes stuck to her head.

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