Then they kiss, although the angles they're supposed to be at seem to make that physically impossible.
Don't you hate that, when you're speeding through a story just fine and then get stumped by geometry? I was reading a sex in the pool scene yesterday and got to the point where one hoisted the other onto the edge of the pool then laid him on his back and then kissed his stomach, and I'm thinking, "Oh, wait. I was thinking like chest height, how could he reach... okay, well maybe if it's about waist height, does that make it possible?"
(Edit: Story! Story! I meant story!)
Don't you hate that, when you're speeding through a story just fine and then get stumped by geometry?
It happened a couple of times in that story. I think the part that makes it really weird is (look away now if you don't want to think about mpreg) there were all these practical problems, but the author devoted several lines to carefully explaining how the aliens had spliced Jack and Daniel's genes together, removed one of Daniel's kidneys, and inserted a womb-- all without either Jack or Daniel knowing about it.
Okay, so on reflection, several lines may not have been sufficient. But the impossible/explained contrast was weird.
Edited to spell 'weird' correctly.
Yahtzee posted a crossover between the "An Unfortunate Series of Events" books and Edward Scissorhands.
Since Am-Chau was sharing, here's some fun from the LOTRIPS people, the Monaboyd community on LJ, to be exact. It's not fic, but a very specific fic request:
(Consuela, avert your eyes!)
PLOT BUNNY CHALLANGE!!
Hiedy Ho, folks!
New to the community. Can't write Dom/Billy fluff for shit, so I ask other people to do it for me. Wow, aren't I lazy? Anyhoo, for those of you who dare, I've got a fun little m-preg challenge for you.
Here's the guide-lines (hand in there, kids!)
1. Billy and Dom are in the "honeymoon" of their relationship. (in my opinion there's far too much Dom/Billy angst--not that angst is bad, but the boys need to be happy sometime!)
2. Billy starts to experience signs of being with child. (morning sickness, strange eating habits, etc.)
3. Dom convinces Billy to see a doctor.
4. Dr. Leib (my original character, actually had my math teacher's daughter in mind.) tells the boys that Billy's with child.
5. Billy was born with ovaries, thus, he is able to conceive children. Billy is NOT a transvestite! (as he does not have the female reproductive organs) he is still a man!
6. Billy's birthing process will not be some ludicrous thing (such as, "drink this magic potion and your child will be born from your belly-button." swear to god, that was in an actual fic!) it will be a c-section birth.
The rest is up to you guys. So how about it?
Sadly, she's had some giggly "OMG HOW FUN!" responses.
Edited because I'm a formatting dork.
That crashing you hear is my forehead hitting the keyboard.
Would someone please buy that chick a copy of "Our Bodies, Our Selves"?
I'm of the mind that if you cannot correctly spell "challenge", you should by no means be allowed to issue one.
signed,
BOFQ
Sometimes it's just easier on the psyche to chalk it all up to the great and diverse tapestry of life.
swear to god, that was in an actual fic!)
Oh my god how silly! How can people write silly things like that? Ludicrous potiony things... unlike the idea of random ovaries!
Wait... aren't ovaries reproductive organs? What good would ovaries do you without a uterus? And how would the sperm get there? Am I overthinking this? Yes.
Hee! Here's one response, from the Blessed Ann Larimer:
"But...but..." Billy spluttered. "That's--it's--I am not a transvestite! I'm a man!"
Dom and Dr Leib stared at him.
After a moment, Dom said, "Hermaphrodite?"
"Her what?" Billy asked.
"You mean 'hermaphrodite.'"
"I do?"
"Yeah. And actually you sort of are. With the ovaries and all."
"Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwait. A what now?"
Dom gave Dr Leib a pleading look. "Doctor...? Is there, like, a pamphlet or something?"
"Not as such, no," she replied. "This just doesn't come up that often."
"Okay. Okay. Now I'm confused," said Billy. "Are you saying I'm Jewish?"
I love her.
