Hey ita, I don't think I've had the chance to congratulate you yet, so congratulations.

We were asked when we wanted to start training for black belt. I'm all about next week, because I'm terrified of the block wearing off. Other less panicked, more rational, co-instructors seem to think that two or three months is a better idea.

Somewhere in NY, msbelle is shaking her head in her sleep.

Glad you are feeling more human over all though.

Somewhere in NY, msbelle is shaking her head in her sleep.

The reality is, I mightn't be able to train properly in two or three months. I can't get nerve blocks forever. This increased humanity may only last days more. Then, who knows?

very funny, Perkins

But ita, it makes me sad to hear you talk as if you'll never heal. I mean, I understand where the fear comes from, but it's a bummer.

It's something the biofeedback guy encourages, burrell. I see his point.

Also, if I'm honestly over the post-concussive syndrome (even if I'm not, training is only about my extra pain MSBELLE), then this might be it...either way, no one's working on a cure. Pain management is about temporary relief, biofeedback is about lesser but more long term stuff, and the neurologist is trying to find me the right medication. Even the right meds aren't a cure--at best they're juggling negative side effects.

No, I take that back. The acupuncturist is. I wish him luck. The PT was too, but I was never feeling any progress there, just a lot of extra pain. And, well, maybe no PT for a little while. Making my limbs or back hurt is one thing. If new PT involves causing headaches too--I don't know how to get started with that again.

Yikes, ita. Well I hope that there is some attenuation of the pain at least. This seems, well, it seems like a LOT of pain on a daily basis. You're a stronger woman than I am, that's all I can say.

Plus, BROWN BELT!

I agree with Burrell, ita. That all sucks. I wish there seemed to be more hope for a cure.

I am a motherfucking brown belt. There is that.

As for the rest, and the theoretical strength? Eh. I don't want it to hurt this much, and I'm terrified of the pain, and I'm terrified of the excisions it's making in my life. At some point, I lost the energy for anything other than periodic railing against the universe.

And now I have to go. It seems my head has just found a new way to hurt, and I'd rather explore this strange sensation lying down in the dark.

Physiology is highly stupid.

Night ita. I hope you feel better in the morning.

Here's to a good rest, ita. You too, Perkins.