I believe because drinking myself to death will be messier on me than on average.

I ated too much mashed potatos

MY FAVORITE!

I told my 7 year old mad genius niece that I ated too much pie at Thanksgiving and she was all, "Der, Aunt Lisa, it's 'I ate too much pie."

I need the Minister of Kill the Stupid People, STAT.

There is a very stupid messenger service which has lost a very important package of mine, and doesn't seem to understand that since they delivered it to the WRONG ADDRESS I can't give them the number where it was delivered. I can only give them the number where it was SUPPOSED TO BE DELIVERED.

Fuck fuckity fuck stab stab fuck.

Even better are garlic mashed potatoes, and if some of the skin is left in...yummmm.

ETA--Jessica, that sucks big time. Is there a NYC branch of the Ministry you can call?

garlic mashed potatoes, and if some of the skin is left in...yummmm

mmm...how any food could sound good to me right now I don't know. I have so much Chipotle in me.

ita, I am not lame. Not in the Bryan Adams song way, nor in the tiny Tim way. Notice how I didn't use you as the second example.

Mashed potatoes are the one thing that my office cafeteria does right--they don't make the garlic variety, unfortunately, but they do leave the skin in, and they serve it every Monday (Monday is Carvery day, with a rotating schedule of pork loin, roast beef, turkey, and ham throughout the month).

I need the Minister of Kill the Stupid People, STAT.

Emergency assassination squads have been dispatched.

Speaking of killing and stupid people, from Salon's War Room:

With a tip of the War Room Kevlar helmet to Raw Story, here's the ever-charming Ann Coulter, speaking Thursday night about her hopes that George W. Bush will get to nominate a replacement for Associate Justice John Paul Stevens. "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee," Coulter said.

Coulter insisted it was "just a joke, for you in the media."

Pursuant to 18 U.S.C. Section 115, anyone who "threatens to assault, kidnap, or murder . . . a United States judge . . . with intent to impede, intimidate, or interfere with" that judge's duties is guilty of a felony.

That's just a joke for you, Ann. Sort of.

Internet browsing has mysteriously healed itself, as I pretty much expected. Unless the virus checker pops up with anything else, I'm going to assume that I'm more or less okay. For the moment.