We've been doing counseling and will probably continue to do so.

I should have guessed that. I apologize for the assumption.

My wish for you then, would be that the work becomes something that gives you greater peace than you can imagine.

We've done that a couple of times, but it didn't seem to go well.

Gud, you're an amazing example of someone who is really trying to work it out.

Plei, thanks so much for the regular pictures of Lily! They/You/She are/is amazing! So flustered by the amazing, I can hardly get the words out.

Gud, a few times, I've heard friends say things get worse for a while in counseling (of any sort). Do you think maybe things are getting rougher because you're getting to some meaty stuff in counseling? I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your love for and devotion to your family is always evident.

Sparky, I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through, too. His poor family. Ugh.

Oy, Gud. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I wish I could say something to offer you hope, but her behavior is very discouraging to me. The key indicator on whether a marriage is going to survive is how respectfully the partners treat each other. It doesn't matter how much you argue, but it does matter if those arguments are laced with contempt.

And her little sniping comments and criticisms are exactly the kind of things which rate as contemptuous. It's a really bad sign. Also all the time she's spending at church, skipping out on you and the kids - really bad sign.

To me she's giving every indication of already emotionally removing herself from the marriage. I'm so worried for you and the kids, and it's so frustrating because I see you working on it, and I don't see her making that same commitment.

hopping up and down, clapping hands in gleeful anticipation

Bless you, ChiKat. I was hoping someone would prod for SF piccies.

I hope ND remembers to take and post pictures of the Jag and the PCH. (I figure that's a safe bet, but you never know.)

Also all the time she's spending at church, skipping out on you and the kids - really bad sign.

I wouldn't put it that way, she's involved in the church, but it isn't like she's there all the time. She's home all day with the kids (aside from preschool, but that's just 15 hours a week) so she needs to get out to spend some time with adults.

Has her depression been under decent control, Gud?

I think so, it's kinda hard to tell.

I only asked, because sometimes my grandmother's depression exhibited as anger.