hopping up and down, clapping hands in gleeful anticipation

Bless you, ChiKat. I was hoping someone would prod for SF piccies.

I hope ND remembers to take and post pictures of the Jag and the PCH. (I figure that's a safe bet, but you never know.)

Also all the time she's spending at church, skipping out on you and the kids - really bad sign.

I wouldn't put it that way, she's involved in the church, but it isn't like she's there all the time. She's home all day with the kids (aside from preschool, but that's just 15 hours a week) so she needs to get out to spend some time with adults.

Has her depression been under decent control, Gud?

I think so, it's kinda hard to tell.

I only asked, because sometimes my grandmother's depression exhibited as anger.

I wouldn't put it that way, she's involved in the church, but it isn't like she's there all the time. She's home all day with the kids (aside from preschool, but that's just 15 hours a week) so she needs to get out to spend some time with adults.

Fair enough. And I'm sorry to sound discouraging. I'm all scar tissue on these issues, and kind of flinchy.

Oy, Gud. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I wish I could say something to offer you hope, but her behavior is very discouraging to me. The key indicator on whether a marriage is going to survive is how respectfully the partners treat each other. It doesn't matter how much you argue, but it does matter if those arguments are laced with contempt.

And her little sniping comments and criticisms are exactly the kind of things which rate as contemptuous. It's a really bad sign. Also all the time she's spending at church, skipping out on you and the kids - really bad sign.

To me she's giving every indication of already emotionally removing herself from the marriage. I'm so worried for you and the kids, and it's so frustrating because I see you working on it, and I don't see her making that same commitment.

Good gracious, man, just offer some support. Let's leave the diagnosis to someone super qualified like a radio shrink. t rolls eyes

Um.

What exactly is cilantro, anyhow?

The key indicator on whether a marriage is going to survive is how respectfully the partners treat each other. It doesn't matter how much you argue, but it does matter if those arguments are laced with contempt.

And her little sniping comments and criticisms are exactly the kind of things which rate as contemptuous.

Not having more info than I can see here, it is impossible to state anything difinitive about anybody's situation, but Hec is not wrong about contempt.

I wish I had the research handy, but I don't. Still, contempt has been shown to be a very bad indicator for any relationship success...whether intimate, work related or familial.

The key is figuring out what role the contempt plays.

It's a green leafy ingredient type thing (condiment??I don't know.) Kinda like parsley but much yummier, unless you are Allyson.