I should have guessed that. I apologize for the assumption.
My wish for you then, would be that the work becomes something that gives you greater peace than you can imagine.
Now, this would be the perfect time for a swear word.
Kaylee ,'Jaynestown'
Spike's Bitches 23: We've mastered the power of positive giving up.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
beekaytee - Apr 21, 2005 10:58:17 am PDT #4975 of 10001
Compassionately intolerant
Sparky1 - Apr 21, 2005 11:00:57 am PDT #4976 of 10001
Librarian Warlord
We've done that a couple of times, but it didn't seem to go well.
Gud, you're an amazing example of someone who is really trying to work it out.
Plei, thanks so much for the regular pictures of Lily! They/You/She are/is amazing! So flustered by the amazing, I can hardly get the words out.
Topic!Cindy - Apr 21, 2005 11:01:53 am PDT #4977 of 10001
What is even happening?
Gud, a few times, I've heard friends say things get worse for a while in counseling (of any sort). Do you think maybe things are getting rougher because you're getting to some meaty stuff in counseling? I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your love for and devotion to your family is always evident.
Sparky, I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through, too. His poor family. Ugh.
DavidS - Apr 21, 2005 11:06:32 am PDT #4978 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
Oy, Gud. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I wish I could say something to offer you hope, but her behavior is very discouraging to me. The key indicator on whether a marriage is going to survive is how respectfully the partners treat each other. It doesn't matter how much you argue, but it does matter if those arguments are laced with contempt.
And her little sniping comments and criticisms are exactly the kind of things which rate as contemptuous. It's a really bad sign. Also all the time she's spending at church, skipping out on you and the kids - really bad sign.
To me she's giving every indication of already emotionally removing herself from the marriage. I'm so worried for you and the kids, and it's so frustrating because I see you working on it, and I don't see her making that same commitment.
JohnSweden - Apr 21, 2005 11:07:19 am PDT #4979 of 10001
I can't even.
hopping up and down, clapping hands in gleeful anticipation
Bless you, ChiKat. I was hoping someone would prod for SF piccies.
I hope ND remembers to take and post pictures of the Jag and the PCH. (I figure that's a safe bet, but you never know.)
Gudanov - Apr 21, 2005 11:10:54 am PDT #4980 of 10001
Coding and Sleeping
Also all the time she's spending at church, skipping out on you and the kids - really bad sign.
I wouldn't put it that way, she's involved in the church, but it isn't like she's there all the time. She's home all day with the kids (aside from preschool, but that's just 15 hours a week) so she needs to get out to spend some time with adults.
Topic!Cindy - Apr 21, 2005 11:14:29 am PDT #4981 of 10001
What is even happening?
Has her depression been under decent control, Gud?
Gudanov - Apr 21, 2005 11:16:06 am PDT #4982 of 10001
Coding and Sleeping
I think so, it's kinda hard to tell.
Topic!Cindy - Apr 21, 2005 11:16:56 am PDT #4983 of 10001
What is even happening?
I only asked, because sometimes my grandmother's depression exhibited as anger.
DavidS - Apr 21, 2005 11:22:52 am PDT #4984 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
I wouldn't put it that way, she's involved in the church, but it isn't like she's there all the time. She's home all day with the kids (aside from preschool, but that's just 15 hours a week) so she needs to get out to spend some time with adults.
Fair enough. And I'm sorry to sound discouraging. I'm all scar tissue on these issues, and kind of flinchy.