I plead editing sophomore research papers all night before I wrote that.
Obviously, bad grammar is infectious.
And I am off to bed now, so my brain can regenerate. Hopefully. Argh.
Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Giles ,'Conversations with Dead People'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Strix - May 17, 2006 9:18:05 pm PDT #6744 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Topic!Cindy - May 18, 2006 1:45:42 am PDT #6745 of 10001
What is even happening?
Erin, that hymn came to my mind as soon as I saw Teppy's latest challenge. Beautiful piece. I actually liked your original organization better, I think.
For what it's worth, the hymn lyrics are present tense (walks/talks/tells/share/tarry).
Typo Boy - May 18, 2006 9:01:05 am PDT #6746 of 10001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
T!C it was wonderful piece. I think the new organization may make it stronger for an audience who has not shared the experience so much - non-church goers.
It start with a narrative fact (non-church goer, not thinking about jesus grandma is dead.) then a commonplace scent from a commonplace activity (unwrapping a mint) evokes memories of lesss common place and invokes a mystery. And then you've got the story, the church and being slipped the mints, and drawing in the program. And the powerful ending, her and Christ chilling amongst the roses.
I was a little reluctant to give this feedback. Obviously, organization in fiction is a very personal thing; what order to tell things in is very subjective. But this other order felt so right, I thought it might be useful.
Pete, Husband of Jilli - May 19, 2006 7:34:12 pm PDT #6747 of 10001
"I've got a gun! I've got a mother-flippin' gun!" - Moss, The IT Crowd
I am so utterly adorable.
My denial of same, deplorable.
I'd quite like a willy
Either wet or dry
It may seem mad, but it's no lie,
I'd like a tiara before I die.
Typo Boy - May 19, 2006 7:45:53 pm PDT #6748 of 10001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
One can but try.
Glad you came by.
If just to say hi.
You're one great guy.
Pete, Husband of Jilli - May 19, 2006 7:47:51 pm PDT #6749 of 10001
"I've got a gun! I've got a mother-flippin' gun!" - Moss, The IT Crowd
May I ask why
Your esteem is so high,
That if I were nigh,
You'd buy me pie?
Pete, Husband of Jilli - May 19, 2006 8:32:13 pm PDT #6750 of 10001
"I've got a gun! I've got a mother-flippin' gun!" - Moss, The IT Crowd
In the Hospitality Suite
They thought it'd be neat
To pretend to be Pete
And play up the 'Sweet'
But now I am back
To find I've been hacked
Facing a fuckton of flack
Though I didn't do jack
But everything's fine
Pay heed to the signs
Cos after this line
Vengeance is mine...
Have camera. Prepare for war, mother-fuckers.
Luv, Pete
Strix - May 21, 2006 5:43:04 pm PDT #6751 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Strix - May 21, 2006 5:43:10 pm PDT #6752 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Strix - May 25, 2006 5:20:00 pm PDT #6753 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Wow, I totally killed it dead. Deader than a dead naked mole rat.