Oh, God, I wasn't boasting. I'm not proud of it, by any means. My line about wanting to ruin her birthday was meant in all bitterness as to my bad decision and its consequences.
The first joy of writing. Honesty hurts.
Right, there comes a point where you have to either move on, or just buy yourself a Klingon costume and go with it.
Xander ,'Same Time, Same Place'
Spike's Bitches 21 Gunn Salute
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Connie Neil - Jan 21, 2005 1:37:50 pm PST #6360 of 10002
brillig
Betsy HP - Jan 21, 2005 1:41:24 pm PST #6361 of 10002
If I only had a brain...
The thing is, you get points for honesty only if you act on it. "I did a selfish thing" may well be followed by "I have a habit of doing selfish things". If you stop at the self-knowledge, then you're simply justifying the habit.
"I'm sorry I broke in on your date; I'm afraid I'm careless about other people's relationships" isn't charming. "I'm so sorry I broke in on your date; I should have known how much he was enjoying your company. I won't do it again." is.
Connie Neil - Jan 21, 2005 1:53:55 pm PST #6362 of 10002
brillig
If you stop at the self-knowledge, then you're simply justifying the habit.
It's better than denying that it happens.
§ ita § - Jan 21, 2005 1:54:24 pm PST #6363 of 10002
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
It's better than denying that it happens.
Not for his mother.
Betsy HP - Jan 21, 2005 1:56:59 pm PST #6364 of 10002
If I only had a brain...
No, it isn't, not in my book.
I have dealt with too many people who think that an explanation is an excuse. "Oh, I'm so silly about time, but that's just the way I am!"
No. That's the way you've chosen to be. At some point, you realized you were lousy at keeping appointments. And then, the crucial next step, you decided that was okay, that you didn't plan to change it.
There are too many people going around proudly proclaiming their sins, substituting proclamation for restitution. I'm glad you know you're an alcoholic. Now do something about it. I'm glad you've realized you're unreliable. So stop making promises.
Burrell - Jan 21, 2005 1:57:24 pm PST #6365 of 10002
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
I dunno. I find self-knowledge without subsequent behavior modification can get a bit tiresome. Especially in a loved one. Then again, the things that my loved ones put up with from me!
Polter-Cow - Jan 21, 2005 1:58:01 pm PST #6366 of 10002
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Well, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. But I am probably at my core a selfish person. I don't like it any more than you do. Yeah, I'd like to be a better person. Changing who I am is a difficult process. I'm not sure how to do it, how, as Beverly said, to parent myself. And I'm not making excuses. Well, maybe I am. I give up. I know I fucked up, and I'll definitely not break news like this on special days again.
I'm off for now. I need to go reset my emotions. beathen will be here soon, and then I have to make spaghetti.
Beverly - Jan 21, 2005 2:01:37 pm PST #6367 of 10002
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
I don't IM, P-C, but I'd be glad to talk with you about it a little in email if you'd like. Profile addy's good.
Connie Neil - Jan 21, 2005 2:07:24 pm PST #6368 of 10002
brillig
Have a lovely evening, Polter my love.
NoiseDesign - Jan 21, 2005 2:07:47 pm PST #6369 of 10002
Our wings are not tired
P-C, we all fuck up. In my opionion you fucked up in how you broke this news. Now the test is how you deal with this fuck up.
Hmmm, there's a lot of fucking in this post.
Ah well...fuck it.