Mal ,'Our Mrs. Reynolds'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
The thing is, you get points for honesty only if you act on it. "I did a selfish thing" may well be followed by "I have a habit of doing selfish things". If you stop at the self-knowledge, then you're simply justifying the habit.
"I'm sorry I broke in on your date; I'm afraid I'm careless about other people's relationships" isn't charming. "I'm so sorry I broke in on your date; I should have known how much he was enjoying your company. I won't do it again." is.
If you stop at the self-knowledge, then you're simply justifying the habit.
It's better than denying that it happens.
It's better than denying that it happens.
Not for his mother.
No, it isn't, not in my book.
I have dealt with too many people who think that an explanation is an excuse. "Oh, I'm so silly about time, but that's just the way I am!"
No. That's the way you've chosen to be. At some point, you realized you were lousy at keeping appointments. And then, the crucial next step, you decided that was okay, that you didn't plan to change it.
There are too many people going around proudly proclaiming their sins, substituting proclamation for restitution. I'm glad you know you're an alcoholic. Now do something about it. I'm glad you've realized you're unreliable. So stop making promises.
I dunno. I find self-knowledge without subsequent behavior modification can get a bit tiresome. Especially in a loved one. Then again, the things that my loved ones put up with from me!
Well, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. But I am probably at my core a selfish person. I don't like it any more than you do. Yeah, I'd like to be a better person. Changing who I am is a difficult process. I'm not sure how to do it, how, as Beverly said, to parent myself. And I'm not making excuses. Well, maybe I am. I give up. I know I fucked up, and I'll definitely not break news like this on special days again.
I'm off for now. I need to go reset my emotions. beathen will be here soon, and then I have to make spaghetti.
I don't IM, P-C, but I'd be glad to talk with you about it a little in email if you'd like. Profile addy's good.
Have a lovely evening, Polter my love.
P-C, we all fuck up. In my opionion you fucked up in how you broke this news. Now the test is how you deal with this fuck up.
Hmmm, there's a lot of fucking in this post.
Ah well...fuck it.
Hil, I love the cut.
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I figured my mom would be in a good mood, and I wanted to ruin it, in the spirit of givingIf loving this line is wrong, I don't want to be right. Because in a perfect world with perfect relationships, it would just be mean but in this one? It drips honesty to me. It just speaks of the conflict between parent and child. We might like to think it doesn't exist but it does. And as much as parents "just want you to be happy," they often want you to just be happy in the exact way they think is best. I didn't read it as gloating for what that is worth. YReadMV.
I think that's a good sign, as far as gestures of acceptance go.Oh I do hope that your parents come to be very accepting and supportive of your choice. As you said, this was not a rash decision of the moment, it was months in the making. (((P-C)))