If you stop at the self-knowledge, then you're simply justifying the habit.
It's better than denying that it happens.
Willow: You know what they say. The bigger they are... Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothin'.
'The Killer In Me'
Spike's Bitches 21 Gunn Salute
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Connie Neil - Jan 21, 2005 1:53:55 pm PST #6362 of 10002
brillig
§ ita § - Jan 21, 2005 1:54:24 pm PST #6363 of 10002
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
It's better than denying that it happens.
Not for his mother.
Betsy HP - Jan 21, 2005 1:56:59 pm PST #6364 of 10002
If I only had a brain...
No, it isn't, not in my book.
I have dealt with too many people who think that an explanation is an excuse. "Oh, I'm so silly about time, but that's just the way I am!"
No. That's the way you've chosen to be. At some point, you realized you were lousy at keeping appointments. And then, the crucial next step, you decided that was okay, that you didn't plan to change it.
There are too many people going around proudly proclaiming their sins, substituting proclamation for restitution. I'm glad you know you're an alcoholic. Now do something about it. I'm glad you've realized you're unreliable. So stop making promises.
Burrell - Jan 21, 2005 1:57:24 pm PST #6365 of 10002
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
I dunno. I find self-knowledge without subsequent behavior modification can get a bit tiresome. Especially in a loved one. Then again, the things that my loved ones put up with from me!
Polter-Cow - Jan 21, 2005 1:58:01 pm PST #6366 of 10002
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Well, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. But I am probably at my core a selfish person. I don't like it any more than you do. Yeah, I'd like to be a better person. Changing who I am is a difficult process. I'm not sure how to do it, how, as Beverly said, to parent myself. And I'm not making excuses. Well, maybe I am. I give up. I know I fucked up, and I'll definitely not break news like this on special days again.
I'm off for now. I need to go reset my emotions. beathen will be here soon, and then I have to make spaghetti.
Beverly - Jan 21, 2005 2:01:37 pm PST #6367 of 10002
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
I don't IM, P-C, but I'd be glad to talk with you about it a little in email if you'd like. Profile addy's good.
Connie Neil - Jan 21, 2005 2:07:24 pm PST #6368 of 10002
brillig
Have a lovely evening, Polter my love.
NoiseDesign - Jan 21, 2005 2:07:47 pm PST #6369 of 10002
Our wings are not tired
P-C, we all fuck up. In my opionion you fucked up in how you broke this news. Now the test is how you deal with this fuck up.
Hmmm, there's a lot of fucking in this post.
Ah well...fuck it.
Cass - Jan 21, 2005 2:56:45 pm PST #6370 of 10002
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Hil, I love the cut.
--
I figured my mom would be in a good mood, and I wanted to ruin it, in the spirit of givingIf loving this line is wrong, I don't want to be right. Because in a perfect world with perfect relationships, it would just be mean but in this one? It drips honesty to me. It just speaks of the conflict between parent and child. We might like to think it doesn't exist but it does. And as much as parents "just want you to be happy," they often want you to just be happy in the exact way they think is best. I didn't read it as gloating for what that is worth. YReadMV.
I think that's a good sign, as far as gestures of acceptance go.Oh I do hope that your parents come to be very accepting and supportive of your choice. As you said, this was not a rash decision of the moment, it was months in the making. (((P-C)))
erikaj - Jan 21, 2005 3:01:33 pm PST #6371 of 10002
Always Anti-fascist!
I got really depressed, the Christmas I was twenty and told everyone at dinner that I hated myself and where I was living and wanted to die.(I did, but I would give anything not to have said that the way I did. And I think my dad is a jerk for not forgiving me, since I have done a 180 emotions-wise but I guess he has a right to not...the jerk part comes because I have asked him if there is anything I can do to make it right and he won't allow me to and he acts like it happened last Thursday.) I really hope your family worksit out better than this.