Spike's Bitches 21 Gunn Salute
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
No, it isn't, not in my book.
I have dealt with too many people who think that an explanation is an excuse. "Oh, I'm so silly about time, but that's just the way I am!"
No. That's the way you've chosen to be. At some point, you realized you were lousy at keeping appointments. And then, the crucial next step, you decided that was okay, that you didn't plan to change it.
There are too many people going around proudly proclaiming their sins, substituting proclamation for restitution. I'm glad you know you're an alcoholic. Now do something about it. I'm glad you've realized you're unreliable. So stop making promises.
I dunno. I find self-knowledge without subsequent behavior modification can get a bit tiresome. Especially in a loved one. Then again, the things that my loved ones put up with from me!
Well, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. But I am probably at my core a selfish person. I don't like it any more than you do. Yeah, I'd like to be a better person. Changing who I am is a difficult process. I'm not sure how to do it, how, as Beverly said, to parent myself. And I'm not making excuses. Well, maybe I am. I give up. I know I fucked up, and I'll definitely not break news like this on special days again.
I'm off for now. I need to go reset my emotions. beathen will be here soon, and then I have to make spaghetti.
I don't IM, P-C, but I'd be glad to talk with you about it a little in email if you'd like. Profile addy's good.
Have a lovely evening, Polter my love.
P-C, we all fuck up. In my opionion you fucked up in how you broke this news. Now the test is how you deal with this fuck up.
Hmmm, there's a lot of fucking in this post.
Ah well...fuck it.
Hil, I love the cut.
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I figured my mom would be in a good mood, and I wanted to ruin it, in the spirit of giving
If loving this line is wrong, I don't want to be right. Because in a perfect world with perfect relationships, it would just be mean but in this one? It drips honesty to me. It just speaks of the conflict between parent and child. We might like to think it doesn't exist but it does. And as much as parents "just want you to be happy," they often want you to just be happy in the exact way they think is best. I didn't read it as gloating for what that is worth. YReadMV.
I think that's a good sign, as far as gestures of acceptance go.
Oh I do hope that your parents come to be very accepting and supportive of your choice. As you said, this was not a rash decision of the moment, it was months in the making. (((P-C)))
I got really depressed, the Christmas I was twenty and told everyone at dinner that I hated myself and where I was living and wanted to die.(I did, but I would give anything not to have said that the way I did. And I think my dad is a jerk for not forgiving me, since I have done a 180 emotions-wise but I guess he has a right to not...the jerk part comes because I have asked him if there is anything I can do to make it right and he won't allow me to and he acts like it happened last Thursday.)
I really hope your family worksit out better than this.
Aw, Erika. And has your dad actually not forgiven you, or did it just turn him into Overprotective Man? 'Cause not forgiving seems damn harsh, but Overprotective Man, although awfully hard to live with, is at least understandab;e. After my dad's second heart attack, the poor guy couldn't get up to go to the john without my Mom asking him how he was feeling and what was wrong. She could not stop seeing him as completely fragile, no matter how much it bugged him.
Sounds like P-C's family is already handling it better--they seem on the road to accepting it after only two conversations. That's pretty good, considering that they love him and clearly have been hoping for this for a long time (and seem over-invested). My BF's parents refused to pay a single penny towards college when he told them he didn't want to be a doctor, which is what they wanted for him. Took them YEARS to chill. Now he has a good relationship with them,. although they still do the "corrective" comments whcih P-C talked about his folks doing. He just zens out and that seems to work.
He's still pissed, but he's kind of, not normal. It's not all my fault.
I just wanted P-C not to be alone on the Holiday Angst Train.
