I suck, in that I didn't even make it into the SLACKER Secret Santa exchange. Ah well. Will have to be impressed and jealous when I read about all yours.

As for 2004? Well, I don't wanna consider it prematurely, lest it knock me on my ass as it leaves, but...I started the year unemployed and uncertain, and quickly got a job, got freaked out by the job, got into the job, enjoy the job. Traveled a lot. Got to see lots of Buffistas (but a little less of my local friends). Went to Ireland (met Jars!). Went to my second drag king convention. Had an amazing time. Went to my third Buffista F2F. Likewise. Stage managed an enormous show at the BEST VENUE IN DC. Survived. Plan to do it again. My sister got married. The family did not explode (too much).

So, yeah. I may just be blanking the bad stuff out in my memory, but hey, compared to the year before when I broke my arm and got laid off? So far, so good.

Let's hear it for 2005 being better.

Shameless slutting for the Answer.

My reaction to 2004, well not yet...

This year, this year....

Good things? All involved people, travel and creativity. Nilly and the party weekend for her, were splendid. I got to Minneapolis for juliana and Z's wedding, and we got to LA a few times. Seattle at Halloween rocked the house, and I got to do theatre with juliana. My trip back east in May was excellent, and I got to stay with Jess and Ethan, and see my daughter, and meet my editor, and lay a lot of old demons about my years in NYC, and discovered I can actually be comfortable and slightly detached in Manhattan for at least a few days, so let's hear it for the other biggie in the middle of the year, which was my fiftieth birthday. My generation, especially the rockers, weren't supposed to see fifty.

And a bad thing was a midlife crisis from hell, a lost year that I'd buried long ago suddenly leaching its way up to the surface of active memory, and triggering a flood of stuff I really wasn't in any way prepared to deal with. But thanks to friends for putting up with the ongoing memory meltdown, and much love to Teppy for starting the GWW drabble community, which, this September, probably saved my sanity.

The election, yes, well. Not going there. Unlike many, I don't give a rat's rotisserie whether anyone's offended by my loathing for the NeoCons and my conviction that we're been defrauded, but I'm using what energy I still have to work to publicise it. More, with the needing to survive something.

And Nic was out of work for months, got a brilliant yearlong at least contract, and got diagnosed with diabetes, which is not good, not good at all.

But I publicised one book, am promoting a second, finished and turned in a third, have begun two more, had a short story published and two more looking to be published.

I want a good year in 2005, for everyone. We shall see.

Can I share your number Cass? No? Ah, well. Ima reserve my reaction to 2004 until I recover my equilibrium.

However, I will say that I hope to get my seekrit santa package mailed tomorrow. It's shiny.

editted for clarity.

Present has been mailed!

Oh, right. Election. I think I've got post traumatic stress, and am blocking that out of my mind, see...especially with the living in the center of it.

Though I also remember that the night before the LAST Inauguration, I did some really stupid shit. And not in a good way. So I think I may need to be out of town this time...(but see above--I can probably arrange that with work!)

2004. Well, except for the election, about which I won't speak, it was an okay year. I got a promotion, which came with too much work/stress and too little extra money, but still, promotion, and I remind myself almost every day to remember how glad I am to finally have a job I don't hate, that pays me enough money to live the way I want (minus a few luxuries). I lost a few pounds, got myself off antidepressants, got done with a toxic relationship, turned 41, which means I survived turning 40, found a rockin' great therapist, learned I shouldn't drink heavily ever again (especially at a business function), started paying off debts for real this time, and started writing a book that may, fingers crossed and knock on wood, get in front of an agent pretty soon.

2005, I expect great things from you, buddy. No excuses.

2004--was a year. The good things, I got to go to DC for the F2F and meet many Buffistas for the first time. And I got to go to San Francisco for the Nillytour, and meet more Buffistas--and Nilly!, and see ones I'd already met.

Otherwise, I made some good friendships, re-cemented some that had separated at the seams. We didn't go belly-up financially, though it was a near thing. Neither DH nor I died, or killed anybody, or each other, so that's a plus.

I guess if I can make it through 2005 with nothing worse, that'll be a victory of sorts. Is that sad? Hoping for "no worse" as the best possible? Ah well.

2004 has been... odd. Not bad, just odd.

I've been to California twice, had house guests for the first time in, well, ever, worked with a great team, managed to finally collect the entire run of the original Spider-Woman series, finish the bathroom, and, oh yeah, there's this baby on the way thing just when I'd come to terms with it never happening. I've spent more time in doctors offices in the last quarter of 2004 than in the whole of the decade before that.

When I was stuck in bed, I got great care packages from my Internet pals. Cybervixen sent me chocolates and reading/play materials. Dani sent me a lovely card and a book for the baby. Cindy kept emailing me to make sure I was alive. Cashmere sent me maternity clothing. Many of you kept me sane when I was going stir crazy and nuts, and thank you.

My main regrets are the things I didn't take full advantage of, and that I wasn't able to really have a blast over Halloween, though the ER was a somewhat surreal experience that will in time make me giggle.

Pssst, Plei, you scared the living crap out of us that night at Halloween.

One more nice thing about 2004: My husband dressed up in a pirate costume. At Pete and Jilli's. There are pictures. Jess took them.