Johnny come lately...the new kid in town....

Hey, folks. I'm home with Li'l Jandek for the next four weeks, so I'm not going to be around as often. Yesterday was awesome, but he started teething today, which was... well, less than awesome.

Anyway:

he bought a sterilized hypo to shoot a sex machine drug he got 24 hours to shoot all paulenes between the legs he'll throw 96 tears thru 24 hours sexed once every hour johnny hit and run paulene l.a. bus doors open kicking both doors open when it rested on 6th street that's when he drug a girl inside he was spreading her legs and didn't understand dying she was still awake johnny hit and run paulene when he was waking up beside the bed he found clumps of hair the last paulene wouldn't cooperate she wasn't what you'd call living really but she was still awake johnny hit and run paulene

Or:

The boy looked at johnny, johnny wanted to run,
But the movie kept moving as planned
The boy took johnny, he pushed him against the locker,
He drove it in, he drove it home, he drove it deep in johnny
The boy disappeared, johnny fell on his knees,
Started crashing his head against the locker,
Started crashing his head against the locker,
Started laughing hysterically

When suddenly johnny gets the feeling he’s being surrounded by
Horses, horses, horses, horses
Coming in in all directions
White shining silver studs with their nose in flames,
He saw horses, horses, horses, horses, horses, horses, horses, horses.
Do you know how to pony like bony maroney?

Edit - my, those were some dark choices, weren't they?

the last paulene wouldn't cooperate

One of the great lines.

Edit - my, those were some dark choices, weren't they?

Well, you are a new parent.

Hello! My name is Johnny!
Well hello! My name is Johnny!
I would like to explain myself
And I would like to complain in vain
Sweet little boy (Johnny!)
Sweet little boy (Johnny!)

When Johnny comes marching home again
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give him a hearty welcome then
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The men will cheer, the boys will shout
The ladies, they will dance about
And we'll all be there
When Johnny comes marching home!

Now, Jon, where's the new FAQ?

[EDIT] Never mind! I found it! I'm all teary now! I think that story should be made into a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE! Let's cast it.

For FAQ Wife I nominate Olivia Williams.

For FAQ Wife I nominate Olivia Williams.

Whoa! Can I play myself?

Johnny was bad, even as a child everybody could tell
Everyone said if you don’t get straight
You’ll surely go to hell

But Johnny didn’t care
He was an outlaw by the time that he was
Ten years old
He didn’t wanna do what he was told
Just a prankster; a juvenile gangster

His teachers didn’t understand
They kicked him out of school
At a tender early age
Just because he didn’t want to learn things
(had other interests)
He liked to burn things

The lady down the block
She had a radio that Johnny wanted oh so bad
So he took it the first chance he had
Then he shot her in the leg
And this is what she said
Only a lad
You really can’t blame him
Only a lad
Society made him
Only a lad
He’s our responsibility
Only a lad
He really couldn’t help it
Only a lad
He didn’t want to do it
Only a lad
He’s underprivileged and abused
Perhaps a little bit confused

Johnny Angel, you're an angel to me.

ok, you knew this one had to come up at some point....

Hey, it's Julie Brown!