Wanting to address the Simon retcon-or-not question:

My mom bought me the novelization (I have no job and she loves me, and will borrow it after she's seen the movie). It includes much material supplemental to the movie, including scenes from the ep "Serenity" and also "Safe." It deals very well with making sense of the "But I thought Simon said someone else took care of everything?" question, and I hereby announce that I am accepting it as canon. If this is a retconnish thing that bugs you as much as it bugs me, and you'd like an official fanwank to make it all make sense, you really ought to at least borrow the book or go sit in a bookstore and read the first few chapters.

What is the title and who wrote it? There is this big shelf called the San Francisco Public Library that lets me order stuff online.

It's Serenity, and it's by Keith R. DeCandido. The first chapter of it is online (I'm too lazy to google), but that's not the part that fixes the retcon, so you do need a text of the book. (It's also available in ebook form.)

Oh, cool that Keith got to do it! I know him from around.

Given that this is the spoilers thread, you could explain Keith's non-retcon for us here....

Agreed, that a Spoilers thread deserves some spoilers.

I talked to Keith in January (Boskone), and he told me he'd written the novelization then, and I forgot. He did say it was wicked juicy and he enjoyed writing it very much, and while I am mentioning it I might as well report to you all that Keith is a long-haired, man-size muppet.

Given that this is the spoilers thread, you could explain Keith's non-retcon for us here....

You make a good point. It doesn't quite fix it, but it's a good enough explanation.

From the episode Serenity:

Then I was contacted by some men, some underground movement. They-they said she was in danger, that-that the government was... playing with her brain. If I funded them they could sneak her out in cryo. Get her to Persephone, and from there, I could take her... wherever.

And then, of course, in the movie, we see him break her out himself. So, in the novelization, he funds these people, and they arrange everything for him. All he has to do is go in and get her. They provide him with all the objects he needs, transportation, costume, fake retinal scans, etc. It isn't perfect, but it at least makes it make sense to me that he would say the above when it was he that broke her out.

I highly recommend the novelization. It's like watching the movie again, but with new juicy bits because of the third-person omniscient perspective.

The hangup everyone is going to have is "If I funded them they could sneak her out in cryo." One pronoun and it's a retcon? Hard to say.

It took more than Simon to carry around that giant cryo tank in "Serenity," didn't it?

But if she's awake and active when he breaks her out, why bother putting her into Cryo in the first place? Wouldn't it be easier and less conspicuous to not have to cart a humongous box around?

Simon's behavior in "Serenity" the episode, seems very much like he's not aware there's a warrant for his arrest yet. He's using his real name, openly discussing where he used to work and what he used to do. If he had broken into an Alliance facility and knowingly ended up with his face on their security monitors, I think he would have tried to be a little more low-profile.

I'm also still bugged by the fact that I just can't see early Simon pulling off that kind of deception. But that could just be me.