I am pretty against trying to love people

In my experience, it's a bad idea. Which could have been explored with B/X, but would have ultimately marginalized Xander even further. So, glad they didn't go there.

I have a dear friend that I wanted to love very badly, and did for a while, cause he seemed perfect. I soon learned that he wasn't, and in ways that would (and did) make me crazy. So, I got over him. It wasn't pretty, but it happened.

I am pretty against trying to love people. I mean, Love love. For me. I don't want anyone to try and Love me, and can't imagine what would tempt me to try the same for anyone else.

ita is right. Love knows no logic, and you (well, for most values of "you" -- some people are wired differently) can't talk yourself or logic yourself or bully yourself into loving someone. Similarly, you can't persuade someone else to love you.

It would be a very different world if that wasn't true.

"They act like they hate each other because they want each other!" That's far more alien to my personal experience than friends-to-lovers

It's basically just the sixth grade thing of "he teases you because he likes you," only with sex. I didn't like it in the sixth grade, and I don't weant to see it on TV.

What's your reaction to Mulder/Scully, ita?

What's your reaction to Mulder/Scully, ita?

I think they loved each other a long time. And that doesn't tweak me. How crappily it was written does. When I feel the Relationship is put on top of the relationship without flowing, then I get angry. If I think they've been perfectly solid platonic friends for however long, and then boom! Twu Wuv! I wonder why we couldn't have just kept what we had.

Mulder and Scully were jealous around each other from season 1.

And while it's perfectly possible to be friends, and then discover love -- I yawn at its preponderance. Because I think it's lazy, lazy, lazy and overused, a way to get nookie tension without paying more actors.

Not all friends become lovers storylines squick me- I love When Harry Met Sally, and I've always rooted for Luke and Lorelai. I think those friendships have a proper undercurrent of sexual tension, and it seems like each party can hold his own- they are equals, whatever that means.

I guess I don't see Buffy and Xander as having that same pop, and one person clearly has the power in the relationship- same with the Angela and Brian dynamic. Willow and Xander I had no problem with (obviously pre "gay now") even though there was pining, probably because I saw them as being more on equal footing. It didn't ping me with the same undercurrent of being a bad person for not giving someone a chance.

I think they loved each other a long time. And that doesn't tweak me. How crappily it was written does.

That's about where I end up. I think the attraction between them was clear pretty early, and I liked that it was based on intelligence and respect rather than OMG (S)HE IS SO VERY SMOLDERING!!!!!!

Because I think it's lazy, lazy, lazy and overused, a way to get nookie tension without paying more actors.

I agree with you on that. I can see where the concept is infuriating, but it's never bugged me in any specific instance.

It didn't ping me with the same undercurrent of being a bad person for not giving someone a chance.

I didn't really get that Buffy was supposed to be a Bad Person for not wanting Xander, and I felt like his crush was pretty much dealt with for both of them by S4. I like B/X myself, but that's in part because it would have at least given him something to DO. I'd be equally in favor of Xander as watcher, or Xander as Ben, or Xander as Riley, or all four at once.

See, love isn't brains, children, it's blood, blood screaming inside you to work its will.

See, love isn't brains, children, it's blood, blood screaming inside you to work its will.

Oh, you're going to take Spike's word on it, Ms. Never Been In Love?

Look, I got no beef with never having been in love (I told him that I loved him.. and I kissed him.. and I killed him.) Let's get real.

Those who can, do -- those who can't? Diagnose.

I'm just sayin' Spike didn't know a lot about the kind of love Zoe and Wash had. Which definitely had some blood, but had some other stuff too.