Delurking to chime in on the X/B 'ship. One of the many things I love about BtVS is that X/B never became a romantic/sexual one. On any other show, at some point, they would have dated, or whatever. All male/female relationships are reduced to sexual attraction/truw lurv, but never friendships. It's as if men and women can never be friends. Good, loving, caring friends, of all genders, are as important as sexual relationships. If the Scoobies are a "metaphorical" family for Buffy, then any sexual/romantic relationship with Xander would be incest. And I say this as someone who has always had male friends who are very important to me. I really liked seeing that portrayed on a TV show. PS, I've been lurking since the Table Talk days, but only have internet access at home, and it's very hard to keep up. I've enjoyed reading everyone's posts, analysis, insights, etc., and I think that both the show and these forums have made me a more critical consumer of popular culture.

When's the last time you gave someone you weren't interested in a shot?

dissolving in mingled laughter and nostalgia for college. Gosh, what was his name?

But there are people who were friends that I wish I had given a chance, but I was too hung up on one particular guy. Ah, well.

Connie, the one that I didn't give a chance was for the same reason as you. I was so hung up on a girl that wanted to be friends that I couldn't see past the blinders she had on me. Crushes suck ass.

When's the last time you gave someone you weren't interested in a shot?

I have done this twice. I have lived to regret it twice.

I know different folks have different takes on potential relationships, but aside from "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered" I think the writers and cast were very careful to never portray any mutual attraction between Buffy and Xander. They established that "you're like one of the girls!" dynamic very early on, and never wavered.

I quite agree. In fact, the only time I ever suspected it might waver was early on in season seven, when they started taking on that married couple dynamic, especially with Dawn.

As to ships, I have nothing against them, per se, but I think my fundamental problem with them, when taken to extremes, is that they push too much toward defining characters by their relationships, when a good deal of the show has been about doing the exact opposite.

I agree on the whole Buffy and Xander 'its better that they stayed friends deal' even though it still grates my cheese that she never gave him a chance. Im weird like that.

Crushes suck ass.

Not always. I've had crushes that never went anywhere, but I still liked having them. All the thrill and butterflies of liking someone without the committment. I hope that I was kind in a not leading on way to the few people who had crushes on me.

Susan, that's my assumption too, but it would be clearer if I knew who the hell Voldemort was.

Oh, der. It just shows how much the HPverse has imprinted my brain, that it never occurred to me to explain that part of it. But it looks like it was answered upthread.

Crushes are fine in their early going, in the whole "does he or doesn't he, should I or shouldn't I" phase. It's when you can't let the crush go after it fails to turn into anything and stops being fun that it sucks.

BTDT, and authored the damn t-shirt.

Yeah. I think I let go rather easily as long as there haven't already been promises made and things done. It's after that point, when they've said they do, and then one day they don't that sucks for me.

The crush I can handle.