Crushes suck ass.

Not always. I've had crushes that never went anywhere, but I still liked having them. All the thrill and butterflies of liking someone without the committment. I hope that I was kind in a not leading on way to the few people who had crushes on me.

Susan, that's my assumption too, but it would be clearer if I knew who the hell Voldemort was.

Oh, der. It just shows how much the HPverse has imprinted my brain, that it never occurred to me to explain that part of it. But it looks like it was answered upthread.

Crushes are fine in their early going, in the whole "does he or doesn't he, should I or shouldn't I" phase. It's when you can't let the crush go after it fails to turn into anything and stops being fun that it sucks.

BTDT, and authored the damn t-shirt.

Yeah. I think I let go rather easily as long as there haven't already been promises made and things done. It's after that point, when they've said they do, and then one day they don't that sucks for me.

The crush I can handle.

In my younger days, I somehow had it in my head that staying true to your crushes even when it was clear they weren't interested just proved what a constant, loving person you were, and would eventually convince the crushee of your true worth, instead of making you look pathetic and idiotic.

Damn, I was stupid when I was younger and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now.

As to ships, I have nothing against them, per se, but I think my fundamental problem with them, when taken to extremes, is that they push too much toward defining characters by their relationships, when a good deal of the show has been about doing the exact opposite.

What. Victor. Said.

Crushes suck ass.

Like Heather & Susan, I think crushes can be fine, if not wonderful, provided it doesn't start to turn into something icky.

And I too have succumbed to this:

In my younger days, I somehow had it in my head that staying true to your crushes even when it was clear they weren't interested just proved what a constant, loving person you were, and would eventually convince the crushee of your true worth, instead of making you look pathetic and idiotic.

Yep. BTDT.

I don't think I thought about convincing them of anything. I just thought "oooh pretty. Oh and he makes my tummy do funny things. I'm going to sigh and stare a lot."

I actually had a crush on a guy once, who if he had returned feelings, would have completely ended my crush. He was adoreable and married, and seemed a decent guy, Of course had he returned feelings, he would not have been a decent guy. Never meant to be, but he was all pretty and manly.

You guys bring up good points about the positive aspects of crushes. In the past year or so being crush free I have had less interesting things to daydream and think about at work.

*makes note to self* Sean and Susan may well be stalkers.

I agree on the whole Buffy and Xander 'its better that they stayed friends deal' even though it still grates my cheese that she never gave him a chance. Im weird like that.

I never saw it as her having her nose in the air. If, after realizing he wanted to go out with her, Buffy had pulled back from the friendship, and tried to exclude him from the Scoobies, I would have, or at least I would have seen where that interpretation comes from. But she loves Xander, just as she loves Giles and Willow.

I think at least a small part of Buffy and Xander never getting together was timing. She was infatuated and then involved with Angel the only time Xander was really free and pursuing her. By the time Angel left for L.A., Xander had already been involved with Cordelia and Willow. At the beginning of season 4, I think Xander and Anya got involved before Buffy and Riley did. There were times, the beginning of BBaB in season 2, and the beginning of The Freshman in season 4, where I think, had Xander made another move, Buffy might have given him a shot. Ditto the beginning of season 7.

I'm with Victor about the husband/wife vibe they had going on in early season 7. It was a big tease, too, to this frustrated B/X 'shipper who tries not to be (because I really agree with Cate on the whole about exploring a friendship on the show). In fact, I felt there were little indicators from Hell's Bells on, that Buffy would not* necessarily reject Xander again, if only he approached it, and did so lightly.

Ah well. We all should have such friends of the opposite sex.

*edited because I forgot the "not" and that changes the whole meaning.

(represses further Spoldemort arguments boiling up to surface of her brain, desperate to be expressed)

Just caught one of my favourite quotes, from S3, Enemies, Willow to Buffy:

``I, too, know the love of a taciturn man.''