He gets a pass for the first time - but he made the decision to have Veruca with him in his cage whilst still a human, and that's where the infidelity occurred.

With you. And if you just take into account the events of that one evening, yes, it was by then a choice between dragging her into the cage, knowing what would happen, v. letting her roam free and probably kill someone. But that's not where the Oz/Veruca sitch got off the ground - for quite a while before then, even before he knew she was a wolf, he was aware that he was drawn to her, and it was clearly upsetting Willow. So I don't quite buy that he was forced into making that choice - he set it up, consiously or unconsiously, to be that way.

he set it up, consiously or unconsiously, to be that way.

Yeah, but...I just don't see his motive being primarily desire. If Veruca wasn't a werewolf he wouldn't have strayed.

Oz's greatest fear was that he'd kill somebody while in a wolfy state. So I see his motive as being a fairly complex mix: wanting to know more about the wolfy nature, attraction to somebody who not only had the wolf in her, but was reconciled to it (though he himself would never make the choices Veruca did), sexual desire on a very basic animal level, some sympathetic desire to protect Veruca, while at the same time protecting people from Veruca.

The Scoobies solution to Oz's lycanthropy was merely to lock him up once a month. That never would've been enough for somebody like Oz, who was both very thoughtful and ethical. He definitely risked and betrayed his relationship to Willow to explore that dangerous aspect of his person - but that just seems like a far more defensible choice than simply acting on a lifetime of feelings, as Willow did with Xander.

I don't know - if you look at Oz's story separate from Willow, positing him as a main charcter rather than an auxilliary one - he needed to know more about the implications of being a werewolf than anybody in the group could ever provide. This is carried through offstage, where Oz uses the impetus of the events in Wild at Heart to go learn how to control the wolf. A huge accomplishment - probably unprecedented. On balance, this is probably more important to Oz and to potential innocent victims than Willow's heartbreak.

His motives were far different than what were essentially fairly selfish choices by Willow and Xander.

Thank you, David! I tried to come up with that sort of post about three times, and just gave up in patheticness.

Take it from another angle. Buffy's gone to enormous lengths to explore her Slayerness, Willow's done the same for her witchiness. I think it can be safely said that when it comes to inherent aspects of themselves that ME characters have, any lengths necessary become (at least at the time) acceptable.

I honestly don't think you can even really compare the two situations, the Oz/Veruca thing and the Willow/Xander thing. They're from very, very different places involving different emotions and character personalities. One of the aspects of the Oz/Veruca scene in WAH was the fierceness of Oz. He's...well, laconic. In a sense, it's like he's punishing himself for being what he is by being with Veruca. I think they had the definition of a punishing kiss. And while Veruca thought she was getting ever closer to Oz, he was all the farther away.

Yeah, but there were other ways to explore his wolfy nature than by fucking. I think the betrayal is on a par with the Willow/Xander kissyface. However, I really liked the Oz/Veruca story because it was a great metaphor for what happens at that age--testing one's limits, exploring the dark places inside oneself, acting selfishly--Sex is powerful mojo and when it is new to us its pull is even stronger. We need to to test (and soemtimes step over) those boundaries to know what it's like and the pain it causes ourselves and others so we can grow up.

I agree with everyone! Pathetic much. The complexity of the relationships combined with the soap opera format worked beautifully in BtVS. This show had all the classic soap elements but with actual complex and compelling characters. I will miss it so.

IMO due to the complexity of Willow's heartbreak, is essentially why she chose Tara over Oz when given the option. Oz had taken her heart and did the Mexican hat dance on it, while Tara had done nothing but attempt to nurture and care. I was devastated when she didn't chose Oz at the time, but looking back at Wild at Heart, I can now see why. She lost Oz under the most crushing of circumstances, one being that he cheated (personal pet peeve) and another that it was virtually out of her control. She could do nothing to help him so the pain she felt, I feel, goes beyond simply cheating.

Besides, Oz coming back that one time (and briefly for the dream sequence of Restless) and never to be seen or heard from again was mostly just a final twisty knife thing to me because he remains to be one of my most favoritest Buffyverse characters and seeing him go was even harder than seeing Angel go because as someone said upthread, Angel went to the magical place of His Own Show, while Oz just went off into the moonlight. So tragic. So much left unsaid.

And the only reading I can take from that scene, as much as I love Oz, is that he was choosing hairy-gorilla sex with a girl he didn't even like over Willow.

I actually think Oz was doing the traditional Scooby action of not mentioning the problem to anybody while he tried to work it out himself. His motives for doing so are obviously complex (hence all the posts), but his isolation is traditonal when it comes to our heroes.

So much left unsaid.

To me, that's pretty much Oz in a nutshell.

When Oz first found out he was a werewolf, he tried to keep it a secret, didn't he? Back in "Phases," he seemed pretty nervous when Xander was talking about knowing who the werewolf must be, inasmuch as Oz ever seems nervous. And Willow wouldn't have found out at all if she hadn't come over when he had the chains out.

So I guess it's not surprising that he kept wolf-related things to himself later on. Just kinda disappointing, because otherwise he was pretty damn perfect.

If Veruca wasn't a werewolf he wouldn't have strayed.

And?

Would he have boffed any werewolf that walked by? I never got that impression. Then it's not a lycanthropic compulsion.

No one's going to be unfaithful unless there's someone they want to boff.