Ooops, you're right, Teppy. I still think Willow was insecure about it though. In that fight, she was insecure about a few things (magicks, sexuality, experience dealing with death of a loved one) in comparison to Tara.

I was just thinking about Tough Love when reading these - and that was when I felt like they were pointing towards the fact that Willow is not just "in love with Tara" - she is in fact gay and she is feeling insecure about what it all means and is taking it out on the person she loves.

But I saw her as bi before Tara came along (don't know why - I'm sure it has something to do with Faith and both of them being real hot) and so - that's what I continued to think.

As many have pointed out though, this wasn't Willow's BIG identity crisis, it was always about her thinking of herself as a big ol' nerd - regardless of orientation. As obvious as this is to others, it was kind of a revelation to me underscored recently by both Joss' commentary for Restless and some chapter I can't remember right now from the BtVS and Philosophy book.

See, I'm kinda with justkim. The character identifies herself as gay. Who am I to say I know better? But as I've said, I think that sexuality is fluid enough that one's sexual orientation can, indeed, change over one's lifetime.

Also, I've heard far too many different firsthand stories of the process to think that there's any one way for things to happen. Everything from people who unexpectedly fell in love with one person of the same gender despite their overall heterosexuality to people who were bedrock sure of their homosexuality at an age when I hadn't the slightest inkling of an attraction to anyone.

The character identifies herself as gay. Who am I to say I know better?

The same person you'd be to call any other narrator on being unreliable.

This is separate from my belief on her Kinsey rating.

The same person you'd be to call any other narrator on being unreliable.

Okay, on a narrative level, I see that. You're right (except of course that she is not the narrator, but that's me picking nits).

I was making the mistake of thinking of this in terms of real people. And with the real people I know, it bristles me when Person A questions Person B's self-identified sexual orientation based on X or Y fact. As in statements like, "What kind of lesbian sleeps with men?" or whatever. IRL, that kind of thing irks me. But you're right, this is a fictional character here.

The most (loaded word alert) damning point against Willow only saying she's gay and not bi because it's simpler and/or she hasn't thought it through entirely, in my opinion, was her reaction to the enchanted jacket in "Him".

If Willow were cookie dough, what kind would she be? t /Baba Wawa

EDITED to remove pretentious quote marks and to do a fake tag properly.

EDITED four times now. Damn, I suck.

The most (loaded word alert) damning point against Willow only saying she's gay and not bi because it's simpler and/or she hasn't thought it through entirely, in my opinion, was her reaction to the enchanted jacket in "Him".

I don't see how that affects her sexuality. The jacket pinged chicas, didn't matter if they were gay or straight.

Besides, she was willing to magic him into a her.

Yeah Robert, that was magicks, not her natural feelings - I don't think it can serve as evidence. I wouldn't count it, even if she hadn't tried to turn the boy into a girl.

I'm with Burrell when real people are involved. People who self-define should have their definitions respected. Had Tara lived, it would be a less interesting question, only because I do think Tara was Willow's big love (at least to date), and I can't even imagine Willow being interested in someone else with Tara on the scene.

Besides, she was willing to magic him into a her.

hmm, doesn't that lean more towards the "gay" rather than "bi" side? I mean, if she were bi, wouldn't she have been willing to be with him as a man?

Or perhaps the writers just did it for laughs.