Haven't seen the DVD yet, but the way I've always wanked it is that Willow is bi (she was definately in love with both Oz and Tara) but describes herself as gay.

The only time I can remember Willow describing herself as gay is the infamous "Gay now!" quote. (I could be wrong about this, as we see that I'm sketchy today). And in that case, it was to challenge Anya, and would not have been nearly as effective if she'd said "Bi now!"

Maybe Kennedy is Italian, and her family's in the mob.

Okay, see, this I like.

I think that maybe Willow hasn't had enough relationships of either an intimate or a casual nature to really know for sure if she is lesbian or bi. I don't doubt for a minute that she loved Oz, and still does to some degree. I'm sure she loved Tara. And I'm sure she enjoys being with Kennedy.

I don't think we have seen enough of Willow really thinking about her sexuality to know for sure what she thinks other than that right now she identifies herself as lesbian. What happens to the character later is anyone's guess.

The only time I can remember Willow describing herself as gay is the infamous "Gay now!" quote. (I could be wrong about this, as we see that I'm sketchy today). And in that case, it was to challenge Anya, and would not have been nearly as effective if she'd said "Bi now!"

She also identified herself as gay to the CoW in "Checkpoint", and there was the "and I think I'm kinda gay" quote in "Tabula Rasa" (which was slagged on these boards as being a retread), so it's not just one instance that Willow identifies herself as gay.

I think that maybe Willow hasn't had enough relationships of either an intimate or a casual nature to really know for sure if she is lesbian or bi. I don't doubt for a minute that she loved Oz, and still does to some degree. I'm sure she loved Tara. And I'm sure she enjoys being with Kennedy.

I don't think we have seen enough of Willow really thinking about her sexuality to know for sure what she thinks other than that right now she identifies herself as lesbian. What happens to the character later is anyone's guess.

ITA. Also, Willow strikes me as the type who will fixate on the present situation at the expense of the big picture--in other words, she's completely into who she is RIGHT NOW and would find the past insignificant. So she's thinking, "Hey, I've got a girlfriend, I'm doing the witchcraft, that's who I am! I am 100% lesbian wicca girl!" and not allowing her "old identity" (geeky, awkward, cute, Oz-dating, techno-whiz Willow) to factor into her current self-image.

I'm 99% sure that all of Willow's 'gay now' type statements came after her argument with Tara in Tough Love, and I always chalked up her identification as gay (with the 'only' implied) to growing out of that fight. That was the argument with the 'lesbo street cred' crack by Willow, when she was afraid Tara was insinuating she was LUG.

I may have mixed it up a little with other commentary and the special feature season overview thingy - I did a marathon watch of all things commented upon the night I got them. But there was lots of talk about Willow not being gay, straight or bi - but falling in love with Oz and then falling in love with Tara. (They were still in S6 when the commentary was done - so no mention of the dreaded Kennedy) And that being that. And then of course, there is also a lot of talk about how Oz "made" Willow gay - which is them, obviously, kidding - so take it all for what you will.

I always felt like Willow was bisexual personally. But I always felt that way about pretty much all of them so...

I only have a memory of this, not a citation, but sometime after season 6, Joss gave an interview in which he pretty flat out stated that he'd often played around with the idea of matching Willow with another guy, after Tara. However, given how Tara died, and the outcry from some parts of the fandom, he and Marti decided it would be wrong of them to involve her with anyone who wasn't a woman.

I think that's too bad. But really, I wish nobody had been involved this season. I understand it probably was an important part of Willow's healing process, but I think Kennedy and all the SiTs took away too much screen time from important elements of the story. I don't hate Kennedy. I resented that she was so front and center.

I'm 99% sure that all of Willow's 'gay now' type statements came after her argument with Tara in Tough Love

"Gay now!" was in Triangle, which was before Tough Love.

Ooops, you're right, Teppy. I still think Willow was insecure about it though. In that fight, she was insecure about a few things (magicks, sexuality, experience dealing with death of a loved one) in comparison to Tara.

I was just thinking about Tough Love when reading these - and that was when I felt like they were pointing towards the fact that Willow is not just "in love with Tara" - she is in fact gay and she is feeling insecure about what it all means and is taking it out on the person she loves.

But I saw her as bi before Tara came along (don't know why - I'm sure it has something to do with Faith and both of them being real hot) and so - that's what I continued to think.

As many have pointed out though, this wasn't Willow's BIG identity crisis, it was always about her thinking of herself as a big ol' nerd - regardless of orientation. As obvious as this is to others, it was kind of a revelation to me underscored recently by both Joss' commentary for Restless and some chapter I can't remember right now from the BtVS and Philosophy book.

See, I'm kinda with justkim. The character identifies herself as gay. Who am I to say I know better? But as I've said, I think that sexuality is fluid enough that one's sexual orientation can, indeed, change over one's lifetime.