Man, you get forced to actually work at your job one day, and you miss a lot....

First, if I'm one of the rude, insensitive, pushy, domineering, wants-to-decide-the-direction-of-the-board people simply because I said I didn't like the Deathmatch posts, well so be it. I said I didn't like them. I didn't get histrionic about it, or flame-baity, or insulting, or mean. I expressed an opinion; not a veiled desire for the board to be run my way. (Damn West-Coast time stamps....)

Second, Rafmun, I am genuinely curious: how long have you lurked here? I'm just wondering how many of the tense-mellow cycles you've seen happen here.

Also, it makes me sad you have such a bad impression of the board.

(Man, I *really* didn't want to prolong this, but there are some comments I really feel compelled to address.)

No one is driven away, not really.

From what I have seen, that is false.

I'd really like examples of this assertion.

Threads change, the population changes. People leave for myriad reasons. Bitches is nothing like it once was - it's practically a chenille robe and fuzzy slippers now.

Except when it's just ooky.

Or perhaps it is because a few very prolific and increasingly agressive posters have succeeded in marginalizing some very long-term members who were happy to engage in productive and constructive discussion when it was truly about give-and-take, but who became frustrated that their willingness to concede points and move to compromise seemed increasingly exploited to satisfy the few, to the point where they just don't bother even debating much anymore b/c they see the conclusion as forgone anyway.

That's another assertion I'd really like to see examples of, or else I don't see any reason to take your word for it. I've been here a long time, and I haven't seen people be assholes to drive away long-term people. Or new people.

That impression would be accurate. Yes. A few posters are definately quite selfish and unwilling to accomodate the wishes and needs of others, and instead persistently require others to accomodate their wants and opinions.

Huh. If no one expressed any wants or opinions about the board, nothing would get done.

I am simply suggesting that there has occured a subtle (or not so subtle depending on your perspective) shift in the discourse here, and that it has become one sided, and that good people are bleeding away.

Leaving....the assholes? The ones who ponied up money to bring Nilly to the US? Or maybe the ones who got together to cheer ND up in a very very VERY rough time by giving him a Utilikilt? Or maybe you mean the people who sent Billytea an echidna skull. Or the time Allyson took ita in without ever having met her. All care packages I got after my surgery surely couldn't have come from the assholes....except they must have, since the good people are bleeding away.

I ought to delete this. Posting it is going to just prove that I'm one of the assholes. And, you know, I *am* an asshole. I'm an asshole when someone or something I love is being criticized. I'll defend it any way I can, even if that makes me come across as an asshole. So be it.

Apparently Madrigal missed the memo.

She got called on it by at least five people instantly.

Deleted

For the record, even this discussion isn't driving me crazy. I understand the point of view from the people who brought up things they've noticed and wanted to bring to the board's attention--which is why I think this thread is a good thing.

And I think people are agreeing and disagreeing according to their own comfort levels.

I do admire Beverly for expressing her opinion when it's obviously causing her distress. But while I do feel badly for people who, for whatever reason feel they can't or won't speak up for their opinion, I don't feel like that makes me more aggressive or obnoxious for being willing to post mine.

Although, I could be wrong.

First of all, we HAVE A PROCEDURE to address inappropriate posts. If someone feels that a post is offensive, insulting, or otherwise in bad form, they are to address the poster in the thread directly and ask them to stop. If they do not stop, they should be told that the discussion is moving to Bureaucracy and they should be recommended for a warning.

I am REALLY uncomfortable bringing up instances after that fact that did NOT go through this procedure.

I withdraw as being insulted in one thread is enough for me. Should I delete my previous posts?

Posts deleted.

We have a clearly defined method for handling offensive posters. If someone thinks it's time to use it, you should say so.

Please don't delete, Gloomcookie. But we really did go through all the sturm und drang of setting up these procedures to avoid people being upset and not knowing how to deal with it.

did I insult?

Just to be clear, I am for warning offensive posters.

Thanks Jess but I'd rather not go through it.

ETA: You did not insult, msbelle. I'm just not up for a go round on the issue is all. I'ma take a break instead.