I hug you, Beverly.

(I also rush off to class.)

I don't know how to NOT be confrontational, any more than the conflict-avoidy types know how to be confrontational.

And the emotion of which Beverly speaks that comes from speaking out, I get that from NOT speaking out.

So, I don't really see any solution to what I don't see as a problem to begin with. Maybe I'm that jerk running people off the board, left and right. I'm also taking this all very personally, and thus, should take mine own walk and come back when I can see it as a big picture.

This is how we lose good people. It's how we lost Jen K. When did personal insults become alright here?

For the record, that's not my impression of why Jen K. left, and I'm still in regular contact with her.

Personal insults are not okay here, and I haven't seen a rise in them. People get called on it quickly here. You'd have to cite an example for that.

I think the danger is that if the conflict-avoidy types keep "losing", they'll eventually leave and the board will be the poorer for it.

shrugs This is exactly why we instituted voting. I concur that I don't want the board to only be a place for the most aggressive and willing to headbutt. But I feel like we've got things in place that address that.

"argue about whether the sky is blue or not"

The sky I see when I look out the window is obscured by clouds. I cannot say what color it is.

t /Fair Witness

For the record, that's not my impression of why Jen K. left, and I'm still in regular contact with her.

It was my impression and I talk to her regularly as well. It wasn't the only reason, but it was the final straw.

Deleted.

I meant for my post to be a follow up in agreeance with yours. I guess it came off as a "nuh uh" post.

Oh, okay. I was afraid I had expressed it badly.

It's how we lost Jen K.

I think that was me, solely, or at least, mine was the death blow. I feel responsible, at any rate.

Yes, but why not call for a vote, ignore any discussion after that point, and have the vote happen? Isn't that the exact reason we set it up in the first place?

Absolutely, Shawn. But like David said, voting on things like Death Match announcements is micromanaging (IMO). There's no easy solution. If we voted on everything, a lot of folks would get turned off and might eventually leave. If we don't vote, the louder folks win and the quieter folks might eventually leave. While I'm glad I got a "thanks" from Rafmun, I'm a little bit uncomfortable because I have no idea what the answer is, nor am I sure we need an answer.

And Gloomcookie -- what personal insults have you seen? I'm rarely in Natter and am way behind in Minearverse, but I haven't noticed things any worse than they've ever been.

feeling pressured and frustrated by a conversation and choosing to stop having it is not compromise

Then she should've stuck to her guns. I appreciate the play-nice impulse, and advocate it, and I'm for compromises that make the whole place work. But if you believe that you're not only right, but it's the right thing for the community then you should stick it out.