Doyle ,'Life of the Party'
We open it up, we talks the talk, we votes, we shuts it down. This thread is to free up Bureaucracy for daily details as we hammer out the Big Issues towards a vote. Open only when a proposal has been made and seconded according to Buffista policy (Which we voted on!). If this thread is closed, hie thee to Bureaucracy instead!
Jessica, I am so sorry you had to go through that and we didn't have your back.
I must be blind and deaf, because I missed the signs on the board that other people picked up on. I am so sorry that we lost any people over this.
Now, i'm getting pissed.
Jessica's explanation makes it clear in my mind, and that there is evidence of further behavior in the present has convinced me.
Still, sad.
Beautifully, said. Omnis.
Yeah, well said, Omnis.
cognitive dissonance. His is the most recent post in ita's Thread, in response to me.
I'm more than a little verklempt, because of course this is something I haven't see, aside from DX finding him like nails on a chalkboard.
I've got to process this before I can say what course I support. (This is probably the Bargaining Phase.)
I don't know if it needs to be a separate discussion, but if we do ban PC, I think we should update our rules language to reflect that extensive creepy, stalkery behavior can lead to immediate, no-three-strikes banning.
About the situation on Twitter, most of the details are not being discussed publicly. For every angry, hurt vaguebook post you can see, please believe there is a MOUNTAIN of backchannel behind it where women are sharing their stories in safer spaces than the open Twitterverse.
My story is ages old, and I'm in no danger of retaliation because I don't have a writing career or even really a social media reputation to protect. Many others do not yet feel safe speaking out, beyond saying "Yes, me too, watch out for him."
I appreciate everyone who is sharing their experiences with him. Even just having juliana report her own decision to avoid him, in addition to Jessica's post, goes a long way toward making me understand the depth of his behavior and its impact.
I would support banning him. I hope this does turn out to be a real reckoning for him, and that he ultimately does learn and change his behavior. But given that we have already had that conversation with him, over a decade ago, and that it seemed to have no impact on him, I no longer believe that we have any reason to be a part of his learning process.
I agree this is a situation where all alternatives are painful and sucky.
In a court of law, I'd say it was hearsay or circumstantial evidence at best.
But this isn't a court of law. At this point, there are at least fifteen people on the board who have either felt harassed outright or who have said he makes them uncomfortable, and far more on Twitter. I know Twitter is hard to dig through, but details are being posted. This is new this morning:
But you know, when people feel humiliated or used or stalked or gaslight, every demand for proof is just more of that.
I think Kate's last point, and this from Erika:
I sincerely hope he does change(although I am a skeptic) but the question is whether we want him to do it on our time or not.
is the crux of the matter. Do we, as a community, want to continue to support someone's "learning process" when we know first-hand it's been a decade-plus and have heard second-hand that if anything, he's gotten more sophisticated in his bad behavior. I say no.