cognitive dissonance. His is the most recent post in ita's Thread, in response to me.

I'm more than a little verklempt, because of course this is something I haven't see, aside from DX finding him like nails on a chalkboard.

I've got to process this before I can say what course I support. (This is probably the Bargaining Phase.)

I don't know if it needs to be a separate discussion, but if we do ban PC, I think we should update our rules language to reflect that extensive creepy, stalkery behavior can lead to immediate, no-three-strikes banning.

About the situation on Twitter, most of the details are not being discussed publicly. For every angry, hurt vaguebook post you can see, please believe there is a MOUNTAIN of backchannel behind it where women are sharing their stories in safer spaces than the open Twitterverse.

My story is ages old, and I'm in no danger of retaliation because I don't have a writing career or even really a social media reputation to protect. Many others do not yet feel safe speaking out, beyond saying "Yes, me too, watch out for him."

I appreciate everyone who is sharing their experiences with him. Even just having juliana report her own decision to avoid him, in addition to Jessica's post, goes a long way toward making me understand the depth of his behavior and its impact.

I would support banning him. I hope this does turn out to be a real reckoning for him, and that he ultimately does learn and change his behavior. But given that we have already had that conversation with him, over a decade ago, and that it seemed to have no impact on him, I no longer believe that we have any reason to be a part of his learning process.

I agree this is a situation where all alternatives are painful and sucky.

In a court of law, I'd say it was hearsay or circumstantial evidence at best.

But this isn't a court of law. At this point, there are at least fifteen people on the board who have either felt harassed outright or who have said he makes them uncomfortable, and far more on Twitter. I know Twitter is hard to dig through, but details are being posted. This is new this morning:

[link]

But you know, when people feel humiliated or used or stalked or gaslight, every demand for proof is just more of that.

I think Kate's last point, and this from Erika:

I sincerely hope he does change(although I am a skeptic) but the question is whether we want him to do it on our time or not.

is the crux of the matter. Do we, as a community, want to continue to support someone's "learning process" when we know first-hand it's been a decade-plus and have heard second-hand that if anything, he's gotten more sophisticated in his bad behavior. I say no.

About the situation on Twitter, most of the details are not being discussed publicly. For every angry, hurt vaguebook post you can see, please believe there is a MOUNTAIN of backchannel behind it where women are sharing their stories in safer spaces than the open Twitterverse.

Worth saying again.

I really, really appreciate all of the people coming forward. I am deeply saddened by finding out that we have lost such wonderful community members due to his behavior. And pissed. I am really, really pissed.

I remember a long time ago (10+ years) Sunil posted about watching a woman on a train and then following her off the train and trailing her for a while. Numerous people chastised him for it. I thought he had learned his lesson.

I haven't been around much lately and haven't talked to him in years, but I support banning him for all the reasons mentioned above.

That most recent link from Dana is chilling to me, and seems to indicate someone who has no intention or ability to learn from previous behavior.