I sincerely hope he does change(although I am a skeptic) but the question is whether we want him to do it on our time or not.(And maybe he's just upset that his literary friends have taken him to the woodshed, but I like to believe that people can reform, eventually.)
Voting Discussion: We're Screwing In Light Bulbs AIFG!
We open it up, we talks the talk, we votes, we shuts it down. This thread is to free up Bureaucracy for daily details as we hammer out the Big Issues towards a vote. Open only when a proposal has been made and seconded according to Buffista policy (Which we voted on!). If this thread is closed, hie thee to Bureaucracy instead!
Yeah, Matt, that's me, too. He has always rubbed me the wrong way, and I remember some of the early stuff, like "You changed your tagline." And I trust Jess.
I hoped that like a lot of twenty-somethings he had learned when people told him he was being a creep. I don't believe everything I read on the internet, but it seems like there's a lot of smoke out there. It's ten years later and he still hasn't learned.
That was more than ten years ago. Around 2003. (I'm remembering how it lined up with when I graduated college.) I thought I was overreacting, then.
I hoped that like a lot of twenty-somethings he had learned when people told him he was being a creep. I don't believe everything I read on the internet, but it seems like there's a lot of smoke out there. It's ten years later and he still hasn't learned.
I believe the women who are reporting behaviors I can back up with my own memories. Like I said, I cut off all contact, but based on what I'm being told now, nothing has changed.
I am sorry that so many people have been hurt by Sunil. Jessica, thank you for your story.
Count me as one who never had a problem with him, but now that I know his behavior to others was harmful, I support banning him. My gut clenches at the idea of a vote for such a thing, but I think it is one of those times where the right thing to do feels horrible no matter how you slice it.
I'm one of the people who's limited her board time to avoid Sunil, as well as avoiding real-life situations. And Jessica, I'm sorry.
Jessica,
Thank you for sharing. I am sorry. FWIW, and I know I am a prodigal daughter, but I would be in favor of banning.
I have had my own misgivings about him for years based on things he has posted here. Given what I read here and on twitter (and I came to know about this whole thing things morning after reading a RT from Cleolinda - OMGWTFPOLARBEAR), I think his behavior is WAY beyond the pale.
Juliana, didn't you do theatre with him? Did he engage in troubling h behavior there?
We have theater friends in common, but I've avoided working with him. I've also failed to ask any of my friends about his behavior.
I'm not sure what to say. I'm not a super active member. Schedule is too busy to try and keep up in Bitches or Natter. Firefly and Games are where I post the most lately.
I've met PC a few times at face to faces. He's come off a bit awkward to me, but I chalked it up to geeks being awkward. Heck, I'm awkward in social situations.
My prominent memories of PC on the board, was his family trying to arrange his marriage, and the various stories of the women he was set up on dates with. That was a long time ago. Like I said, I haven't kept up in Bitches in awhile.
I am friends with him on Facebook (like I am with many Buffistas). I'm not an avid reader of my timeline, but occasionally I will see a posting from him. Seems most are about his emerging writing career. I recall his shift from medical writing (I think that's right) to plays in thread. But haven't paid close enough attention to follow his various successes.
I tried reading the twitter links upthread, but I'm not much of a Twitter person, so they were more confusing than convincing. Maybe I didn't read far enough back. In a court of law, I'd say it was hearsay or circumstantial evidence at best.
Jess, your written account carries far more weight. First, let me say, I'm sorry you (and the others) had to go through that. And thank you for bravely posting your experience. I can't imagine it easy.
Juliana, your words also carry weight.
As a person who is really good at being a hermit in the urban jungle, I value my friends, and am loyal to them. There are some on the board whom I know well IRL, and count as some of my best friends. And the remainder of the board, I think of as my interstate/international tribe. I know, that if I need vibes, I have a bank that I can call on to help me through a tough time. How many stories have we heard of a Buffista driving to a train station or airport to help a friend or family member of a board member, basically a perfect stranger, and come to the rescue? How much couch surfing has been done via the board? Who needs air bnb? This board represents what is good about this world and humanity. As such, despite being more lurker than poster, I value the board and the members.
In discussing this with other board members, I have been made aware of several people who he has made uncomfortable with his behavior and actions, to the point that they have avoided threads he posts in or F2F events he's part of, or they have left the board entirely. I think we should ban him for this consistent and long-standing pattern of behavior.
I would hate to think tribe members have self exiled themselves because of the actions of another member. I would hate to think we missed out on putting a face to a screen name, because of the actions of another member.
As such, I agree with Matt, some action is called for.