Wow, I can't even remember when last I've sat and read so many posts. Actually read, not skimming, not skipping, until-3am-with-burning-eyes reading all the way through. So I guess it goes to show how important I find this place, you guys, and what is important to you and bothers you.

And if there's anything for me to add to the considerate, clever, thoughtful words of pretty much each and every one of you (in my rusty from-lack-of-use English and my middle-of-the-night lack of coherence), I think that, to me, the main point right now is the community.

First, I have to admit, I don't want to refer to any specific person. Especially since I'm hardly even a lurker these days, and get to interact way too little with any of you guys, I have completely missed any and all of the abovementioned interactions and incidents.

Obviously, I believe and have huge respect to the people who came forward and spoke up and shed light on details which were in the dark until then. Moreover, I find the way things were conducted inthread, without forcing people into talking about things which were difficult for them, and with attention and care to those who dared to bring to the surface words which were silent for a long while, to be very respectful and the opposite of nosy and petty.

Also, I completely understand all the people who tried over and over again to give-second-chances and who excused and explained as less-than-apparently-it-turned-out-to-be the motives behind actions. I sincerely believe in trying to treat people the way I want to be treated, and I definitely would appreciate being given the benefit of the doubt and second-chances with each and every one of my own mistakes.

But, yeah, there's always the delicate balance when there are two sides who characterize an event in very different colors, and siding with one is almost sure to slight the other, and it seems at least some of us maybe tried so hard to forgive behaviors, maybe even misgivings we saw as weaknesses we identified in ourselves, that we ended up - unintentionally, I'm oh-so-completely sure - hurting other people, clever and with-open-eyes and careful people. Hurting friends.

Therefore, I find that I'm quite upset that people found that for a long time, they couldn't voice certain opinions out loud, or that people who were supposed to be friends - who *are* friends! Dear and beloved ones - couldn't find the right way to deal with disagreements and not-seeing-eye-to-eye without several of these dear and beloved friends feeling the need to end not just the argument, but also to walk away from the friendship, or at least from it being active.

I know that I feel and think of the place as a safe haven, as the place that I will always *always* be able to turn to when things are anything they could be, good or bad, in need of help or for sharing of joys, and I know that I've never ever felt as though I can't share any thought or opinion here. I knew that on more than one occasion I may end up fiercely arguing my point, but I've also constantly felt completely confident that I can actually talk to the people thinking differently from me, and that we'll always respect and appreciate each other during disagreeing, and will always be able to also joke about it.

There's nothing I can imagine being done in order to prevent bad things from happening, anywhere, on and offline. There will always be mistakes and misunderstandings, even when everybody has the best intentions at heart (as I deeply believe is the usual case for almost everybody. As I deeply believe is what happens constantly here). That is not something that can be changed.

What I think is important, then, is how we try to deal with such situations as we are forced to face them. If possible, I want to do my best in order to make it possible for the minimum damage done by those actions (doesn't matter why or how they've stumbled into our threads) to any other person, to any member of the community, and to the sense of a community.

I'm not sure I'm (continued...)

( continues...) making any sense, I've read through so much in one gulp, and that's the impression I was l left with. That I'm a bit saddened and worried about what I was surprised to discover has been happening in this treasured place, to the community, to its members who preferred to leave (not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's what anybody wants, of course, you know? And I'm one to talk, now that my job is not in front of a computer and my posting time has shrunk to virtually none) and was left wondering if there's any way to try to - if not prevent, at least try to minimize any sort of damage that may be caused to my beloved b.org.

Sorry. Not even reading through to fix typos, just posting before I give it up altogether for the night [Edit: it ended up waiting for a break from being-with-the-kids-during-the-holiday hour in the afternoon, since that was the only computer-time I could find. Not reading the night's rumblings, because starting to fix them means never getting to post. Sorry, as I've already said]. I cherish this place so much.

I have said it before (in email, naturally) and I'll say it again, though we've never met. I heart you Nilly.

Nilly, you are always a such a sweetheart; I mean that almost literally -- a sweet, kind heart.

You are cherished, Nilly. The way this has been handled recently reassures me that this will be my safe place for a long time to come. Yes, I am saddened that there was conflict I was oblivious to, but it did come to light and is being handled appropriately. Also, seeing all the familiar faces is a delight so I am going to focus on that as a highly desirable side effect.

You are cherished, Nilly.

This. And adored.

Everything that Laura said so well.

{{{Nilly and Laura}}}

In some ways, I'm having flashbacks to when Gus was outed as a sock puppet: the same sense of betrayal, the same sense of "all the pieces were there, why didn't we put them together?

A few months ago, P-C did something to someone who wasn't me that upset me, and I had to talk to someone about it. Someone not part of this community, because I didn't think I could talk about it here, but whatever, we've addressed that.

Anyway, his reaction was "wow, your imaginary friends site seems to be a greenhouse for growing people with mild internet fame and major sociopathy."

I had to admit that when framed between Gus and P-C it does look that way, but I was adamant that the majority and core of people are wonderful.

I'm not sure two in 15-some years is dispositive. Scientifically speaking. For a site that is not exactly prominent but also is not closed or restricted, it's pretty damn good.

And now that I think of it, didn't Gus also arrive in the wake of some famous person posting or other? That said, lots of good folks found us through Tim as well.

{{{Nilly}}} So good to hear from you!

Statistically I think 2 out of however many active posters we've had over that time (it has to be in the hundreds, right?) is way, way below the amount you'd encounter with just a random sampling of the population.