David, that's what I hear! There are all sorts of lovely things about Portugal but it's super practical as well. The perfect combo.

It was a source of some anxiety that Matilda was going to a school without her elementary or middle school friends, but she's just gone out and made new ones (while retaining most of the old ones). One Freshman girl, Chloe, said, "I don't know how to make friends," so Matilda said, "Then I guess you're sitting with us for lunch." Which is what Chloe does every day now.

David & JZ-- Matilda is an awesome kid. I wish I had known someone like her back when I was in high school.

I had a friend like this in school, and I don't know what I would have done without her. Hec & JZ you're doing an awesome job as parents.

Yay negative tests! Yay Portugal! Yay Matilda! But also her friend, because she just admitted she didn’t know how to make friends rather than pretends she was above friends!

I had nutty dreams, too. One of which involved Hermione(who was also my grade school friend Audra) and I trying to find Ron’s dorm room after I had a rehearsal of a play I was in, but had no script. I was trying to google a script but I couldn’t remember the name of the play. All of this occurred in my middle school.

I have to totally disavow any responsibility for Matilda's social ease; some of the empathy may be me, but the capacity to confidently act on it is all David.

Another Matilda story (I already posted it on FB so family members could see, but it belongs here too):

Walking back with her from the neighborhood coffeehouse post-church coffee, she gave me an update on the elderly man she's seen every day for the last year and a half. He lives in the condo complex near our apartment, and early every morning he heads out to Lava Java with a little cardboard coffee cup tray under one arm, and then returns with two cups in the tray.

She and her friend Iris used to see him when they'd go out running early in the morning before Zoom classes started; sometimes they'd lap him two or three times running around the block as he walked his careful two-cup route. After school ended, she'd see him most mornings as she was heading out to the day camp she worked at.

Now that school has started again but starts earlier, she doesn't see him headed in both directions anymore and sometimes she doesn't see him at all. But on Friday she saw him, walking his usual slow and careful route... but with just one coffee cup.

She immediately texted Iris, who promptly responded in all caps: NO STOP WHAT HAPPENED IM ON THE BUS IM GONNA CRY.

She immediately texted Iris, who promptly responded in all caps: NO STOP WHAT HAPPENED IM ON THE BUS IM GONNA CRY.

Okay, just for the record, we don't know she's dead and my coffee order there changes from day to day.

Hec & JZ you're doing an awesome job as parents.

Honestly, a lot of parenting is just not squashing the good thing that's in your kid and bolstering the parts where they feel unsure. But Matilda was just born with empathy and emotional intelligence and innate kindness, and has felt confident defending friends and making friends.

And for the record, sj, a lot of the parts that were challenging about Emmett I could see at the time were strengths. They were just a pain to deal with as his parent. The fact that Emmett did not give a fuck about parental approval was actually a good sign that he felt safe, loved, worthy and was unlikely to cave when he felt pressured.

Honestly, a lot of parenting is just not squashing the good thing that's in your kid and bolstering the parts where they feel unsure. But Matilda was just born with empathy and emotional intelligence and innate kindness, and has felt confident defending friends and making friends.

And for the record, sj, a lot of the parts that were challenging about Emmett I could see at the time were strengths. They were just a pain to deal with as his parent. The fact that Emmett did not give a fuck about parental approval was actually a good sign that he felt safe, loved, worthy and was unlikely to cave when he felt pressured.

Thanks, honestly half the time I feel like I am failing at all of that. Her personality is just so big and bold, which is nothing like me, but then she has my emotional nature and all of my stubbornness to go along with it. It's a lot to deal with at times. But her teacher replied to a message I sent her the other day by saying ltc is "sweet as pie and a very hard worker."

And I hope Matilda sees the elderly man with two coffee cups again soon.

Thanks, honestly half the time I feel like I am failing at all of that. Her personality is just so big and bold, which is nothing like me, but then she has my emotional nature and all of my stubbornness to go along with it. It's a lot to deal with at times. But her teacher replied to a message I sent her the other day by saying ltc is "sweet as pie and a very hard worker."

You're not failing at all! She feels very confident in being herself. It's what you want. It's just a pain in the ass to parent a kid like that when they are younger. She will get so much easier as she gets just a few years older.

Matilda is awesome ... how she got that way is less important than the fact that she is.

JZ, I once saw someone speculate that Steve Rogers had scarlet fever as a child, which could have left him with multiple health problems, and it was fairly common at the time. My father - who dropped out of college and enlisted in December 1941 - was accepted, since he was basically healthy but missing the index finger on his right hand. I've always thought that he wasn't sent into combat because he was missing his trigger finger, although it could be that they thought he'd be more useful as a flight instructor (he was originally assigned to the cavalry - which was still in existence in 1941 - and later to the Army Air Corps, scored high on a test and became an officer). From some of the stories he told, he was a mean instructor, but it may have helped some of his students survive. The doctors were worried that he (my father) was too thin, so put him on a diet of mandatory malted milk, potatoes and gravy and no cigarettes; after a month, he'd put on ONE POUND, so they gave up on that.

You're not failing at all! She feels very confident in being herself. It's what you want. It's just a pain in the ass to parent a kid like that when they are younger. She will get so much easier as she gets just a few years older.

Thanks. She was such an easy baby, and I tried never to brag about it because I knew eventually things would turn around. It's much better now that she is back in school all day. She loves school. She loves interacting with the other kids and learning. And I keep thinking life might become even easier once she learns to read, but we'll see. She has been stubborn about having us teach her even though she loves to be read to.