She immediately texted Iris, who promptly responded in all caps: NO STOP WHAT HAPPENED IM ON THE BUS IM GONNA CRY.

Okay, just for the record, we don't know she's dead and my coffee order there changes from day to day.

Hec & JZ you're doing an awesome job as parents.

Honestly, a lot of parenting is just not squashing the good thing that's in your kid and bolstering the parts where they feel unsure. But Matilda was just born with empathy and emotional intelligence and innate kindness, and has felt confident defending friends and making friends.

And for the record, sj, a lot of the parts that were challenging about Emmett I could see at the time were strengths. They were just a pain to deal with as his parent. The fact that Emmett did not give a fuck about parental approval was actually a good sign that he felt safe, loved, worthy and was unlikely to cave when he felt pressured.

Honestly, a lot of parenting is just not squashing the good thing that's in your kid and bolstering the parts where they feel unsure. But Matilda was just born with empathy and emotional intelligence and innate kindness, and has felt confident defending friends and making friends.

And for the record, sj, a lot of the parts that were challenging about Emmett I could see at the time were strengths. They were just a pain to deal with as his parent. The fact that Emmett did not give a fuck about parental approval was actually a good sign that he felt safe, loved, worthy and was unlikely to cave when he felt pressured.

Thanks, honestly half the time I feel like I am failing at all of that. Her personality is just so big and bold, which is nothing like me, but then she has my emotional nature and all of my stubbornness to go along with it. It's a lot to deal with at times. But her teacher replied to a message I sent her the other day by saying ltc is "sweet as pie and a very hard worker."

And I hope Matilda sees the elderly man with two coffee cups again soon.

Thanks, honestly half the time I feel like I am failing at all of that. Her personality is just so big and bold, which is nothing like me, but then she has my emotional nature and all of my stubbornness to go along with it. It's a lot to deal with at times. But her teacher replied to a message I sent her the other day by saying ltc is "sweet as pie and a very hard worker."

You're not failing at all! She feels very confident in being herself. It's what you want. It's just a pain in the ass to parent a kid like that when they are younger. She will get so much easier as she gets just a few years older.

Matilda is awesome ... how she got that way is less important than the fact that she is.

JZ, I once saw someone speculate that Steve Rogers had scarlet fever as a child, which could have left him with multiple health problems, and it was fairly common at the time. My father - who dropped out of college and enlisted in December 1941 - was accepted, since he was basically healthy but missing the index finger on his right hand. I've always thought that he wasn't sent into combat because he was missing his trigger finger, although it could be that they thought he'd be more useful as a flight instructor (he was originally assigned to the cavalry - which was still in existence in 1941 - and later to the Army Air Corps, scored high on a test and became an officer). From some of the stories he told, he was a mean instructor, but it may have helped some of his students survive. The doctors were worried that he (my father) was too thin, so put him on a diet of mandatory malted milk, potatoes and gravy and no cigarettes; after a month, he'd put on ONE POUND, so they gave up on that.

You're not failing at all! She feels very confident in being herself. It's what you want. It's just a pain in the ass to parent a kid like that when they are younger. She will get so much easier as she gets just a few years older.

Thanks. She was such an easy baby, and I tried never to brag about it because I knew eventually things would turn around. It's much better now that she is back in school all day. She loves school. She loves interacting with the other kids and learning. And I keep thinking life might become even easier once she learns to read, but we'll see. She has been stubborn about having us teach her even though she loves to be read to.

And I keep thinking life might become even easier once she learns to read, but we'll see.

This was very much the case with Brendon. It changed everything. It opened his world and he was so much more content.

Also, being gay was a definite instant 4-F, but it was notable among all the other 4-Fs in having no explanatory note at all. Most of them had appendices explaining why this disqualified someone, why the recruiter would have to say no, but in 1940 being gay was not just taboo, but so taboo that it was listed only as "Sexual perversion," with no explanatory note at all. Not even a warning about malingerers. It was so taboo at the time that it never entered any recruiter's mind that anyone would claim it if it weren't so (a blind spot which the Vietnam generation would take full advantage of a quarter century later).

I was wondering about this when I saw Hair last week. Why wouldn't Claude just claim to be gay? Wolf would have walked into the induction center with him holding hands for believability in a heartbeat.

Yay, Zmayhems and general awesomeness, and awesomeness in HS, which can be so hard, in particular.

Yay for negative tests and parents improving!

For those that didn't catch my FB posts - I woke up yesterday absolutely FREEZING, though the thermostat said mid-70s. Went back to bed and slept (with extra blankets) until around 1pm when I roused myself enough to track down a working thermometer. It said 102, when I usually register about 97. I wasn't too concerned about myself - chills, achiness, and congestion (which could have just been my regular allergies) were the only symptoms I was feeling - I got the vaccine in April and frankly would love an excuse not to go into work for 2 weeks. But I had lunch with a friend on Saturday who has an 11-year-old at home. So I was *really* concerned I might have passed something on to her to take home to the unvaxxed kid. But I was feeling a lot better by last night, and my temp when I went to bed said 99. This morning it was back to 97. So apparently, 24 hour bugs are still a thing. And I was already working from home today, so that works out.

I'm glad the bug was short-lived, Epic!

Epic, people didn't claim to be gay because the prejudice and repercussions were devastating. Young men who were even thought to be gay (usually called something much less polite) were subject to social shunning and being beaten up with little or no provocation. They could be denied jobs (at a previous - terrible - job, one young man was fired for being insufficiently closeted), housing ... the whole range of things you need to survive.